It's springtime, which means plants start growing, and when plants start growing their roots start growing, and when their roots start growing they seek out cracks in my sewage pipe for sustenance, which means.....
E.: MMMMAAAARRRRCCCC! There's water pouring up out of the toilet onto the floor! There's water coming up into the bathtub from the drain!
M.: I know. I was downstairs in the basement when water started raining down from above, through cracks in the floor. It's such a surprising thing! When water draining from the washing machine fails to drain down the sewage pipe, it should spill out of the pipe under the porch (where the toilet was originally located when the house was built in 1908, and whose open pipe still exists). But that did not happen! Which means the blockage this year is upstream of where it was last year. Such a surprise! In addition, it should be impossible for water to come out of the toilet, since the lid on the sewage pipe cleanout access in the basement is not well-fastened and can't endure the pressure generated by a column of water rising up to the toilet. The water should go gushing out into the basement, but that isn't happening either. Such a puzzle! Such a riddle! This hasn't happened since, oh, 1998 or 1999!
E.: MMMMAAARRRRCCC! The water is shooting like a geyser out of the toilet!
M.: That's a transient phenomenon - the washing machine's spin cycle is starting and there won't be enough water to sustain a geyser in a few seconds.
E.: MMMMAAAARRRRCCCC! Why is there all that lint in the bathtub?
M.: You'd be surprised how much lint there is in drainage from a washing machine.
E.: MMMAAAARRRCCCCC! There's two inches of water on the floor! All I have is this mop!
M.: That's a dust mop, which is poorly-suited for this problem. Go and get the mops in the laundry room.
E.: There's no mops there!
M.: There are two mops there! Here, I'll get them.
E.: MMMMAAAAARRRRCCCC! Help!
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