Wednesday, April 21, 2010

When They Started Allowing Morons To Have Mortgages, It Guaranteed That Soon The Only People Living In Houses Would Be Morons

For years, I've been troubled by water flowing into my basement. The trouble predated my ownership (if you want to call it that) of my house. Despite my efforts to locate and stem water flows from various locations, whenever it rained, water mysteriously appeared in the basement, from location(s) unknown. Damage to the foundation accumulated, with the southern wall of the house sinking several inches over the last several decades, including over the last fifteen years, when I was nominally in charge.

In 2006, when Mad Adam was working in the basement, he decided to dig out the flower bed in front of the porch and install rubber sheeting against the foundation, to keep runoff from the flower beds coming through the foundation. Brilliant! Except it didn't work. Water continued to appear mysteriously.

Last weekend, while clipping vegetation by the side of the porch, I took a look at how water from the gutters poured down a chute into an underground drain. Suddenly I realized the connection between the chute and the drain wasn't very good: there was an inch gap between the tubes, and they weren't aligned well. There was plenty of opportunity for leakage. Was this the source of the water in the basement? Why hadn't I noticed this before? So, instead of allowing water to continue to pour into the underground drain, I placed a rubber tube at the chute's exit to carry water away from the foundation, and waited for the next rain.

I'm happy to report that, with this last rain storm, there is no new water in the basement. A conundrum that has puzzled me for fifteen years, and caused endless damage, is now solved.

Next mystery for the coming fifteen years: why does the light in the laundry room make sporadic buzzing noises?

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