Jetta: Why didn't you catch on to what I was doing?I had a very hazy recollection of a hazy memory from the early 90's about some kind of swingers' club in the news. This club must be the place. Do people still do that? It sounds like like a very Seventies thing to do. Or a Sixties thing. Or something. But, hey, I'm into nostalgia!
Marc: Because I couldn't figure it out!
Jetta: What's to figure out? I addressed you as 'Harry', and then got down on my knee to propose marriage to you, and then said this was going to cause trouble with our parents. So the natural conclusion is.....is.......
Marc: Is what? I couldn't figure it out!
Jetta: The natural conclusion is that I'm a man! Proposing gay marriage!
Marc: But you're not a man! I couldn't make that connection!
Jetta: But why?
Marc: Because you're not a man!
Jetta: You'll have to think faster than that if we're going to work on a routine. Now, since I'm having dental work done on Friday I want to sing karaoke tonight, but you instead should check out Trino's. They have an open mike there on Wednesday night and I figure we could do an improv routine there next week. Do you know about Trino's? You sometimes see strange things there. It's a place for swingers.
Marc: Like swing dancers?
Jetta: No, like wife-swappers. I wonder if they have secret rooms there. Go and check out the standup at Trino's.
So, feeling a bit dubious about the whole idea, after doing aerobics and eating dinner, I headed out to find Trino's on Fulton Avenue, and worried whether I might be the appetizer, the entree, or the dessert.
I opened the door to a nearly-empty club and was greeted by a one-eyed surfer dude. The odd thing is that I thought I recognized him. But then I think I recognize everyone. I notice that as I age nearly everyone looks slightly familiar (I'll end up like those folks in the nursing home who wave and smile at every passerby), and decided soon afterwards that I had no idea who he was at all.
The club was decked out in Halloween splendor, with slightly racy paintings on the wall. The evening was slow starting (poor turnout). There were no signs of secret rooms (except maybe some kind of a locker under lock and key).
"It's group sex night here at T2's tonight," one of the MCs helpfully announced. "We'll be playing Twister shortly! We have Crisco and baby oil for everyone!" Funny! But the temperature was about 55 degrees F (the door to the patio was open) so it would be a brisk and very invigorating group sex experience for everybody - if anyone showed up.
One of the other MC's came over and talked. He had been doing standup for several years and recommended sfstandup.com as a source for locations and dates of open mike nights, and other standup venues, in the Bay Area, and Sacramento too. Wednesday night meant open mike at Trino's. Speaking about this club, he added: "Friday is couples' night."
Ah, "couples' night"!
After a while, several comics showed up. So, three guests (four if you counted surfer dude), plus about six comics. The humor was a bit rough, and amazingly crude. Sometimes funny too!
All the while, the comics looked at me and tried to figure out what my game was.
At the end of the evening, one of the MCs did the unexpected and handed me the mike. I jumped up and identified myself as 'Marc Valdez'. The Latino comic with the funny jokes about la migra said "Valdez? We figured you were Jewish!" I smiled and launched into my (crude) story about a late-night walk on the Las Vegas Strip, about 1980. They liked the story and applauded. I thanked them for helping me lose my standup virginity and promised to return next week.
Afterwards, I talked to one comic who had been complaining about being unemployed. I suddenly realized he had been travelling the standup circuit - he had been, until recently, touring and getting paid to do standup, so unemployment was a different experience for him than for most people. "I don't know anything about standup, " I said. "No one does," he said, "until you do it, and then it's too late!"
The club owner was passing out flyers announced the club's name change, from Trino's to T2. He had just purchased the place, and it was time to announce the change to the world!
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