Bad Ideas

I've been having some luck with B3ta's 'Question of the Week' recently, and getting my answers on their 'Best' page. For example, last week's question:

Bad Ideas

"Let's get all the fireworks and pile dog shit on top of them". I can't believe I actually said that, and I still can't believe I was the one who lit them and couldn't run away in time. Tell us about your spectacularly misjudged ideas.

Here is my answer, with comments:

French fusion

I spent a weekend at an astronomical observatory with an eclectic group of international scholars, including two French astronomers very much in love. They were so cute and romantic. It was as if they were a single fused personality, with each completing the other's sentences.

I unwisely got into the back seat of a car with the French astronomers in the front seat, and we went driving around the mountain top. I thought the male half was driving, but he was only working the pedals. The female half was doing the steering, and in truth they really weren't a single coordinated person. Their lack of coordination caused them to lose control coming down a steep narrow washboard dirt road. We fish tailed back and forth and nearly flipped the car.

Love hurts, as they say.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Sun 27 Jul 2014, 10:12)

Has someone hijacked this account,
with intent to post coherent stories?
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch living in a honky paradise, Mon 28 Jul 2014, 9:03)

Was that actually coherent?
The syntax, grammar and spelling were all good, but something was definitely awry.
(eViLegion has been lurking way longer than you., Mon 28 Jul 2014, 12:50)

I understood it, which was a bonus.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch living in a honky paradise, Mon 28 Jul 2014, 13:38)

Bloody wimmin drivers eh? EH???

(Dr Doctor Can't you see I'm burning burning?, Mon 28 Jul 2014, 13:57)