Thursday, January 18, 2007

No, What Do You Really Think?

Here is a sampling of the Beast's "50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2006":
48. Gerald Ford - Precedent-setting cowardice; admitted to pardoning Nixon because they were friends. Enabled the sense of executive impunity that pervades the White House today.

46. James Carville - vastly overrated as a political strategist based on the fact that he managed to win with the most charismatic Democratic candidate of the post-war era and a split conservative vote. In ‘06, Carville raged against his own obsolescence by blasting Howard Dean’s competence as Chairman of the DNC—immediately after Dean steered the party into majorities in both houses of congress as well as state legislatures and governors.

37. Madonna - A truly unremarkable "singer" who gained fame by courting controversy and flexing her once-attractive body. Wore out her shock value, among other things, a full 2 decades ago, yet won’t stop trying to rile baby-boomers with puerile symbolism. Dangling from a big plastic cross just isn’t edgy anymore, not even close.

32. George Allen - Seriously, how stupid do you have to be to call a dark-skinned kid who works for your political opponent "monkey" while he’s pointing a video camera at you?

31. Cindy Sheehan - Two harrowing months deprived of all nutrition—except Jamba Juice smoothies, protein shakes and the odd ice cream latte, just like Gandhi. That’s not a hunger strike; that’s a diet.

30. Rush Limbaugh - It’s hard to believe this repulsive shit fountain is even human, until you remember that we share 70% of our DNA with pigs.

18. Mel Gibson - If there was any question after the belligerent Jew-bashing Passion of the Christ, Mel’s 2006 Malibu pogrom proved once and for all the anti-Semitic apple doesn’t fall far from the Holocaust-denying tree.

14. Britney Spears - this bilious tramp has two doomed children, both cursed with the warped ribonucleic helices of a beer-chugging swamp princess with a defective larynx and a lucky low-rent wannabe hustler who may actually be the more responsible parent.

10. Jack Abramoff - An amoral uber-bully who saw morality as an unnecessary obstacle to success and congress as an easily gamed system of constitutional subversion, Abramoff ushered in the era of rules-are-for-losers politics.

6. Dick Cheney - How evil does a guy have to be for his buddy to apologize for getting shot in the face by him?

3. George W. Bush - This spoiled, whiny pinhead is, regrettably, responsible for the nauseating fiasco he’s made of America and the world. Employs an effective strategy of creating so many deplorable scandals that it’s impossible for anyone to keep up, guaranteeing that most will slip by with little notice.

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