Cockroaches As Jewelry

Saw this in "Science" magazine - found it a bit hard to accept.

I remember hot summer nights in Tucson in the 1980's. Hard to sleep, but not because of the heat. Less-civilized cockroaches than the ones pictured here, of the sort that I believe are called German cockroaches (and which run rampant through urban areas of Arizona), would skitter across my bare flesh in the dark. I would awake, grab them off my belly, and fling them through the dark, hearing the sharp crack of the chelatinous impact against the wall. Never occurred to me to put them on my hand, though. Just another illustration that I suffer from a lack of imagination:

Giant Madagascar Hissing Cockroach Brooch ($80.00) - A little information on our little friends. These insects come in varied patterns and are decorated with the finest Austrian Swarovski crystal. Each roach takes about an hour of painstaking work to achieve his final magical glory. All roaches are male to ensure sterility, and come complete with a leash set. This consists of a gorgeous pin you attach to your clothing with a chain that clasps to the cockraoch's carapace to keep him from running amok. The lifespan of these animals is approximately one year if housed and fed properly. This is not a guarantee, it is an estimate. Roaches love fresh bananas and must have access to fresh water at all times, a very damp paper towel or cotton ball will do the trick. Dehydration is the main cause of death. Keep him in a little terrarium in the dark and he will love you and be very responsive to your touch. Roaches are shipped overnight in a box and can be kept in this box for up to 4 days without food or water while you secure him more hospitable accommodations.