Thursday, July 12, 2012

Naked Homeowner Tries To Outcreep Creepy Homeless Guy

Last week, very late at night, as I drove through the DMV parking lot on my way home, I was startled by the sight of a small dog curled on the pavement right in the middle of the parking lot. It took me a few seconds, but I recognized the dog as belonging to the creepy homeless guy who trespassed into my driveway ten days ago to take a dump under my bedroom window. (I've blogged about this strange dog before: The Dog In Suspended Animation.) The creepy homeless guy was sleeping on a patch of lawn a short distance away, and the fiercely-loyal dog, according to its custom of not ever being precisely at its owner's side, but always a short distance away, had also sacked out, but in the middle of the parking lot. The parking lot serves as an alternate roadway, so the dog was quite vulnerable there.

Anyway, last night, I was awakened at 4:35 a.m. by a barking dog. I looked out and recognized this dog, which was, once again, in the middle of the DMV parking lot, but this time exactly opposite my driveway. "Oh, crap," I thought, "is that creepy homeless guy taking another dump down there?" I peered into the gloom, but saw nothing.

I decided to investigate. Completely naked in the summer heat, I headed downstairs, waving a flashlight around, hoping to dissuade any "squatters". As I approached my back yard's gate, I heard an annoyed masculine voice somewhere outside the gate say "SSSSHHHHH!" Immediately, the dog fell silent, and disappeared.

I STILL didn't see anything, or notice anything else unusual. I crept out into the driveway, but was dissuaded from venturing further by the sharp pebbles in the driveway. Nakedness is a bold statement, but it's easily thwarted by sensitive soles of the feet.

Driving to work through the parking lot this morning, I saw the dog again, this time heading somewhere on an errand. A bicyclist stopped to reach out and kindly pet the dog. The dog ignored him.

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