Pay No Mind To The Man Yelling From His Window

Sleeping at 6 a.m. this morning, I heard a sound. It sounded like a small piece of wood being kicked along on pavement. Since I've been anxious about security issues around the home lately, I jumped up out of bed and quickly looked out the bedroom window.

I saw a man kneeling next to my car's rear wheel. What was he doing? Was he slashing the tires?

I pounded on my bedroom window. "Stop that!" I shouted. I pounded some more, slapping my palm on the glass in order to avoid breaking the glass, and yelled again. Then, I opened the window, and shouting at the top of my lungs, yelled "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?"

As I stared into the soft light of dawn, in an instant, the man dissolved away without a trace. One instant I was asleep; the next - I was awake.

Whoa! Sleepwalking under duress! I've done this before, but rarely: it's been years. I was lucky I didn't shatter the bedroom window. And embarrassing - I hope I didn't wake the neighbors!

It took two hours to fall asleep again.

Later in the morning, E. returned home, and I explained about my sleepwalking episode:

E.: Chris and I were watching - what was that called? - The Andy Griffin Show.

M.: The Andy Griffin show?

E.: Yes, he is a policeman. Or maybe not a policeman, exactly, but some kind of security guard, because he always has to "secure the building." Anyway, he did some sleepwalking and he started making passes at this woman - I don't know who she is, exactly, but I think she's his aunt - because his personality changed when he was sleepwalking! It was so funny! Maybe your personality will change too! MMMAAAARRRRRCCCC! My poor baby brother!

Under the circumstances this seemed apropos, once again: