Another Tool From Tooele

One day in 1989, when I lived in Salt Lake City, I was walking home from work, and about to cross a street, when three teens jumped out of a passing car, hosed me down with seltzer bottles, jumped back into their car, and sped off. The police traced the car to Tooele (west of SLC, one valley over).

They seem to raise jerks out there:

The Tooele City Attorney’s Office has filed charges against a 19-year-old man who allegedly stole and then decapitated two pet pygmy goats last Halloween.

Orion Kent Mitchell Stoltman, formerly of Tooele, and a male juvenile accomplice allegedly stole the goats from a backyard pen and took them to Northlake Elementary School, where they proceeded to cut off the animals’ heads. The crime was discovered just before 2 a.m. by a neighbor whose fence borders the school yard.

...Police were able to connect the goats back to their owners — Dena and Zack Linnell — because of a collar found around one of the goat’s neck. The Linnells had purchased the pets less than a year before for their 2-year-old son.