Sixty Is The New Forty? A Boomer Conceit

I find it insufferable that Boomers feel privileged enough to alter the calendar to suit their boundless narcissistic vanity. And to my shock, they quote my optometrist!:

After a recent Bee story described a 60-year-old woman as elderly, one 60-year-old reader called to complain. What's up with you guys, she asked, don't you know that's just plain wrong?

...The consensus seems to be that 60 is the new 40. Or at least a 40 with far different pressures and responsibilities. If not retired, then working with less pressure. The kids are grown and gone. And there's just more time to do fun stuff.

...Bag the "elderly" tag, she said – the preferred terminology these days is "seniors" or "older adults."

Like other experts, McVicar attributes the extended longevity to better knowledge and acceptance of the role of a proper diet and regular exercise.

And, perhaps most important of all, the wonders of life-prolonging and life-enhancing modern medicine that weren't available to earlier generations.

...Ernest Takahashi, 63, is a Sacramento optometrist who in his spare time runs, and runs far. He recently ran in the Cowtown Marathon, completing those 26.2 fun miles in 3 hours, 29 minutes.

"Age is relative," said Takahashi. "When I was younger, I used to think that 50 was really old, but now, I'm physically fit and doing fine."

He said he owes his health to eating right and exercise. He runs between two and 50 miles on a given day and hasn't missed a day in 20 years.

"I've found that running is a good way to keep weight off and release stress," he said.

"It's never too late for anyone to start doing something to keep fit … and for me, it's still a great feeling when I'm in a race and I see someone younger than me and I think, 'I can pass them.' "

I have no problem with 'Sixty being the new sixty.' And it's wonderful that people are living fulfilling, pain-free lives far, far into the golden years. But let's not kid ourselves. For every healthy elderly person, there is another pain-ridden person in their 30's limping around with a cane. Life can be a cruel tyrant. Age is NOT relative! Few yardsticks are so reliable and resilient! And wasn't it my optometrist who first noted the symptoms of my age-associated retinal detachment 14 years ago? Age happens to thee, but not to me - is that the new slogan?

(To be fair, my optometrist never said this - I'm just engaging in thought-provoking hyperbole here).

This "age is relative" nonsense permeates the entire age spectrum now, of course. I remember, when I turned thirty and starting referring to myself as middle-aged, my girlfriend (who was a little older) said, "I don't THINK so! Leave ME out of this middle-aged nonsense!"

Well, she was wrong. Like they say, "Time wounds all heels."

Certain kinds of age can be relative, however. Mental maturity matters. Once, I remember being introduced to a porn-obsessed nineteen-year-old, and I thought it remarkable how OLD the fellow seemed.