Remember, crunches after stretches, not before:
Somewhat breathtakingly, the main reason for not exchanging gifts is that Madonna is very much against the commercialism of Christmas.
This seems rather a cheek, given the way she has unblushingly flogged her image and her sexuality in the most commercial way possible for three decades.
She is quite sincere about it, though. Her children will get just three presents each -- a modest tally, given that their mother's fortune stands at $550 million.
Ritchie says this is enough, though: "As long as the kids get three presents at Christmas, everyone's happy.''
The day's highlight will be a low-fat, macrobiotic feast prepared by their chef. (Neither Ritchie nor Madonna cook.) It is highly unlikely to feature turkey, as Madonna has issues with the rearing and slaughtering of poultry. Instead, the "feast'' will be based on grains - such as quinoa - and vegetables.
Friends of the family say there will be a small amount of unsalted meat for the children and for Ritchie, but salty, fatty treats such as stuffing are completely out.
Indeed, the festive season is seen by Madonna as no excuse to stint on her punishing health regimen. She has even hired a nutritionist to advise on her children's food.
As a result, except for the very occasional ice cream as a treat, they have controlled amounts of dairy food, no cheese, no cream, no salt, no preservatives and no sugar.
Although Madonna tries to send out the message that she isn't too controlled to have fun (``We will be drinking copious amounts of beer for the holidays,'' she trills, unconvincingly), she is far too self-disciplined to deviate from her strict diet.
She works out every day, no matter where in the world she is, for between two and three hours. ... So there's no reason to believe she won't sneak in a workout on Christmas Day.
..."A housekeeper will set out a great big table covered in stuff, all macrobiotic, which no one dares eat unless Madonna tucks in.
"They're all terrified of her.''
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