DMTC Haunted House

Left: Haunted House helpers, after 11 p.m. on Saturday evening. Evident in the photo (taken by Rebecca Rudy):

At far right, Renee and David Chan, with several of their kids are far left. Left to right: Logan Petersen, in the back; Marissa, in the front; Stacy Sheehan, kneeling; Steve and Jan Isaacson; a friendly monster; Arthur Vassar; Griffin and Jon Jackson; Virginia Shaw; Chris Petersen; Dannette Vassar; Marc Valdez. In front, Turner Petersen and Andrew Lemons.

An interesting and fun time!

Since we hadn't done this before, we weren't sure how many people would come out for this. We gave ourselves a minimum target of 200, which at $5 each, would yield $1,000. We actually got 271 people, which works out to $1,355 - enough to pay for the $200 Davis Enterprise ad, plus likely the bulk of the royalties for the YPT's "A Christmas Carol."

There were four, maybe five, stages to the tour:

1.) the Main Stage, where adults and teenagers in the two evening tours were first greeted with "The Time Warp," and children and teenagers in the afternoon tour were greeted with "The Monster Mash";
2.) the Laboratory in the orchestra pit;
3.) the Pirate's Cove, in the women's dressing room;
4.) the Judge's Chamber, in the men's dressing room; and,
5.) frightening apparitions upon exit, plus games, candy, etc. for the kids in the lobby.

Trying to gauge each audience proved to be an interesting challenge. The children, in particular, proved tricky. Some kids started crying right away. In one case, a fairly-old girl, at least seven, just fell apart. Even though her slightly-older sister was enthusiastic, their mother had to abandon the Haunted House. Goodness knows we tried. We told the screaming girl that we were friendly monsters (but would you trust a monster that said it was friendly?)

I do have to say that the sight of yours truly, in particular, white-faced, looking like the Emperor Palpateen from "The Return of the Jedi," a large adult spastically hopping and dancing to the "Monster Mash," just totally creeped out the littlest kids.

Left: A friendly monster!

There was one problem I didn't appreciate until late. In a typical musical-theater evening, there might be three or four vigorous musical numbers. In this Haunted House, however, there was a Satanic kind of Ground Hog Day energy at work. We had to vigorously dance "The Time Warp" (or the "Monster Mash"), with full energy, every fifteen minutes, for four hour stretches of time. Like "Up With People," but for zombies. Sometimes we got lucky, and there were breaks, but not that many. My legs still hurt...... I'm sure Virginia and Dannette, Andrew and Chris, feel similarly.....

We had favorite groups that came in. The four teenage girls from UCD on Friday evening made us all smile. Sometimes you could tell who would be good, in advance. When teenaged screams could be heard echoing through the theater even before they were seated, you knew they would be good!
Left: The incomplete Brigadoon set was suitable as a "Time Warp" backdrop on the Main Stage.

Lighting, of course, was crucial. I particularly liked the white fluorescent light at the top of the orchestra pit exit stairs. Not only did the light perform a crucial safety function, but it tended to blind the patrons, so they could not see the imps hiding in the darkness to jump out at them after the rounded the hairpin curve to enter the Pirate's Cove.
I was in charge of the script for the Judge's Chamber, which I based on a few quotes from the movie "The Life And Times Of Judge Roy Bean."

Arthur Vassar played the Judge, I played the Bailiff, and either Jon Jackson or Jan Isaacson interjected as the tour guide. Dannette Vassar and Griffin Jackson played heads; sometimes little girls Marissa and Cassidy as well.

Once the screaming started, the script was but the spare skeleton of what was actually improvised.
Left: Treasure Chest in the Pirate's Cove.

Andrew Lemons, and either Chris Petersen or Steve Isaacson, were in charge of the Pirate's Cove.

Either John van Wort, and his son Chris, were in charge of the Laboratory, or Steve Isaacson (Steve I, the Science Guy) and Turner Petersen.
Left: Silent dummies tell no tales.

Below: Experiments in the Laboratory....


Left: The sad tale of a mutiny....


The family that came in on Sunday, in particular, had a real visual flair, and decorated the dressing rooms with lots of cobwebs and symbolic paraphernalia.


Left: The Judge likes his symbols.


Words to the Rocky Horror Picture Show's "Time Warp" (with Dannette Vassar as 'Columbia' and with Caitlin Humphreys as choreographer):

Riff Raff: It's astounding,
Time is fleeting,
Madness takes it's toll.
But listen closely . . .
Magenta: Not for very much longer
Riff Raff: I've got to keep control.

I remember doing the time warp
Drinking those moments when
The blackness within me
Riff and Magenta: And a void would be calling . . .
Let's do the time warp again.
Let's do the time warp again.

Criminologist: It's just a jump to the left
Chorus: And then a step to the right
Criminologist: With your hands on your hips
Chorus:You bring your knees in tight
But it's the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane
Let's do the time warp again
Let's do the time warp again

Magenta: It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me
So you can't see me, no, not at all
In another dimension, with voyeristic intention
Well secluded, I see all

Riff Raff: With a bit of a mind flip
Magenta: You're into the time slip
Riff Raff: And nothing can ever be the same
Magenta: You're spaced out on sensation
Riff Raff: Like you're under sedation
Chorus: Let's do the time warp again
Let's do the time warp again

Columbia: Well I was walkin down the street just havin a think
When this snake of a guy gave me an evil wink
He shooka me up, he took me by surprise
He had a pick up truck, and the devils eyes
He stared at me and I felt a change
Time meant nothin, never would again

{chorus}

The bare bones script for the Judge's Chamber follows. The actual improvisation usually involved accusing the tour guide of bodysnatching, to much protestation, who would usually reply with accusations against the audience as well. Tour guide, Undertaker Jon Jackson, would theatrically sniff blood in the audience. Jon would have also chosen a favorite target too: a giggling blonde, the smiley girl, the pointy-headed child, etc., upon whom we would focus much energy.

Interestingly, towards the end of Saturday evening, several accused members of the audience acknowledged responsibility for bodysnatching. Even though they were innocent!

It's a well-known aspect of human psychology that, when accused by someone in authority of having committed a crime, many people will confess to a crime, whether or not they actually did anything. Japanese nationalists in the late 1920's, in particular, used this tendency in the Japanese national character to frame people for false crimes, and thereby seize power. Nevertheless, I was really surprised to see this human tendency appear in this Haunted House!

Judge's Chamber Script:

(Guide brings visitors to the judge’s chambers.)

GUIDE: Hush everyone! The judge takes exception to noise!

(People file into judge’s chambers. The judge faces away, reading a large dusty book. The door closes. The Skull speaks)

SKULL: Justice is the handmaiden of law!

(Startled, the judge closes the big dusty book and turns around.)

JUDGE: Hark? Who goes there? Lawbreakers all!

Do you know who I am? IM Doom – Inferno Mellificent Doom, the hanging judge of this district! I'm very advanced in my views and outspoken. I know the law. And I have spent my entire life in its flagrant disregard. Because, in this district, I am the law, and the law is the handmaiden of justice! (Laughs eerily)

(displaying the two heads)

Here we have two wretches, one a thief and the other a liar. I couldn’t keep track who lied and who stole, so I issued a writ of habeas corpus – Latin for “I have the bodies” – until a jury can tell me who is who!

HEAD 1: (speaking of the other head) He is the liar! He lies!
HEAD 2: You lie! I'm not guilty of nothing. And you are a thief too!
HEAD 1: Liar!
HEAD 2: Thief!
HEAD 1: Liar!
HEAD 2: Thief!
HEAD 1: Liar!
HEAD 2: Thief!

JUDGE: Silence! (Thunder, then light goes off, then on) I am the judge! All stand equal before the law. And I will hang anyone for lying or thieving, without fear or favor! You will tremble at my voice and cringe at the terrible majesty of my wrath!

SKULL: Law is the handmaiden of justice!

JUDGE: You Lawbreaker!

GUIDE: Who me?

JUDGE: Bailiff, seize him! The bench recognizes you as a body snatcher!

GUIDE: Only in your service, your honor! You said yourself you have the bodies!

SKULL: Yes! Only you know where the bodies are kept.

JUDGE: Your argument is compelling! I will allow you to continue your journey, while I dspense final justice to these accused!

(As group leaves, the sound of a saw cutting through wood fills the air, together with the screams of the heads).