Mind Your Filipina

E. Let me at him!
M. Put away the garden shears! Violence never does any good!
(shears thrown from the back porch into the yard, contact made, followed by shouts and an angry feint from below towards retaliation).
E. Let me at him!
M. Put down the mop! This doesn't help anything at all!
(mop thrown from the porch, followed by a clatter of metallic impacts as the mop bounces off the air conditioner).
E. Get out of the way! Let me at him!
M. Put down the steak knife! You are not as strong as you think! The last thing we need is to get you hurt and then we have to call the cops!
(carefully step behind E. and relentlessly squeeze, so as to peaceably disarm, and thus have everyone avoid the cutting edge).