Britney Spears

This is the time of day when all my biorhythms crash all at once. I'm barely awake. And for some reason, I'm worried about Britney Spears.

I don't know why. It's silly, of course. It reminds me, when O.J. Simpson was arrested, I read about this shocked fellow from New Guinea who couldn't sleep, thinking about how O.J. had been unjustly accused of murder. Worrying about Britney has just about the same relevance in my life as worrying about O.J. did for the New Guinea fellow.

By why do people say snarky things about her? It's the same kind of snide superiority masking alarm and fear that people showed to Marilyn Monroe. And even though Marilyn showed herself to be an excellent film comedienne and Britney's acting ability has left people underwhelmed so far ("... so ill I had to take a week off work"), at least Britney has time to figure it out. After all, Marilyn studied acting very hard. Marilyn learned her trademark walk from choreographer Jack Cole - it wasn't all natural talent. Like Marilyn, Britney has a tragic weakness: pills in the case of Marilyn: bad knees in the case of Britney. Such a weakness for such a kick-ass dancer!

Anyway, to those people on the 1999 California State Fair midway, who made disparaging remarks when I threw the ball, knocked over the stacked milk bottles, and won the poster of impossibly-fresh Britney, all I can say is:

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind.
Never knowing who to cling to
When the rain set in.