Sunday, December 11, 2022

Pyramid Scheme

It sounded irresistible, so I bit. 

I listened to a hour-long webinar about how to get rich quick by making audiobooks for Audible.com. They need so many audiobooks! Content is so-o-o lacking in today's fast-paced economy. 

Except you don't really make the audiobooks yourself. You hire a mystery company ghostwriter, because you are probably illiterate. And you don't do the voiceover work yourself, because you probably sound like a frog, so you hire someone from their voiceover team. And you market your audiobook using their team of specialists, turning your audiobook into e-books and print books, and scatter them on multiple platforms across the Internet, and get multiple income streams going, and retire to Vail or Palm Springs, or wherever suits your fancy. 

Which begs the question, of course, that if they are doing all the work, why do they need you? Why not cut you out of the loop altogether and make the mystery ghostwriter rich instead? More efficient that way. But if you act today, you can enroll in their audiobook academy for only $2K and learn the process from the pros. 

I didn't really understand this audiobook pyramid scheme. Is content all that hard to come by? Fake authors peddling fake content to people on exercise bikes, who barely pay any attention anyway because ambient Hi-NRG music overwhelms their earbuds? 

With today's rain, Jasper the Dog had been cooped up all day, so I took him for a brief walk around the block. It was still too rainy, and it looks like we are about to get hit by the low pressure center tonight, so the rain will only increase. 

Then Jasper noticed the mysterious construction on the doorstep of the local art gallery. Was it? Yes, it was! It was a pyramid - a pyramid of donuts! Rich, chocolatey donuts too. So many sprinkles! Why was this pyramid of donuts here? 

I didn't understand the pyramid of donuts any better than the pyramid of audiobooks, but I do understand chocolate. So, I waved Jasper away from the pyramid, and took a donut for myself. 

I just hope the donut is pure, and doesn't have anything like strychnine in it. No use in spending $2K down at the Emergency Room. They get you coming and going these days. But maybe if I start an academy of doctors and nurses down at the ER I don't really have to know anything about medicine at all, but can live off the income stream, and can retire to Maui or the Gold Coast.

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