Joe The Plumber Weekend (Jan. 23-26)

Friday

I picked up 2 "free" IMAX tickets at the Wildlife Care Assn. fundraiser in December, so I invited Joe the Plumber to see American Sniper. As a Liberal's Liberal, I wasn't much interested in seeing the movie, but I thought it would appeal to Joe. Plus, if you're going to watch people getting ripped apart by bullets, it may as well be on a huge screen with Surround Sound.

Joe's been more-or-less homeless since I first met him in 2001, but I haven't seen him lately since he's stranded in Rancho Cordova without a vehicle. I haven't been able to catch up much on homeless news since early 2013, when he tangled me in the stolen laptop fencing scheme (from which it was awkward to untangle). A lot's happened in homeless circles too, like people passing away, etc. Since Joe loves to talk (albeit somewhat incoherently, due partly to minor brain damage from the 2003 beating on Del Paso Blvd.) I'll hear all about it, plus other lurid Sacramento underbelly tales. If I'm lucky, he'll talk during the movie, and I won't even notice the flying body parts.

Surprisingly, Joe didn't like the movie much. Said it brought back bad memories!

Saturday

Today was one of those "joys of homeownership" days. In the distant corner of the shed, I found an immense pile of what I thought at first were squirrel droppings (eventually decided these must be rabbit droppings no more recent than 2011), under which was a 3" thick, 2 sq. ft. slab of shit cemented with pee. No wonder the neighbor's cat has been "acting out" there! In the basement, I picked at a sliver of what turned out to be rust on the washing machine drain pipe, revealing a huge hole. As wash water sprayed out across the basement, a shelf toppled over, dumping an old TV and VCR, a sack full of paperback books (some of Helga's Buddhist philosophy and science fiction movie collection), and half a quart of motor oil in a squalid, soggy pile. I miss apartment life.

Had to move a bunch of stuff into the yard for cleaning.

Sunday

Spent much of the day addressing leaky faucets and broken drain pipes with Joe the Plumber, plus doing basement cleanup and working on a solution to the cat problem. Almost finished. Best part of the day was trapping the cat, forcing it to try and flee through the now-grilled window, and humiliating it by forcing it to retreat right past me. Hardest part of the day was spending 11 hours with someone who simply wouldn't shut up, ever.

Monday

Out at Joe's storage unit. Even though he lives in Rancho Cordova, his storage unit is in North Highlands. Go figure.

I seem to lose important things when Joe the Plumber comes over. Last time it was my ATM card; this time it's my reading glasses. But I can always find his storage unit.