The Tree TP Incident

It was 1:30 a.m. Sunday morning, which meant it was time to go outside, scout for skunks and do some watering. I was lurking in the darkness when down the street a vehicle parked and a gaggle of giggling teenage girls emerged. It took me a while to realize they were TP'ing a tree. I watched grimly as they tossed the TP roll repeatedly in the air. I was baffled about why they chose that tree, since it's in front of no one's house, but rather, in front of a small auto repair shop. They were remarkably inefficient at their chosen task, often missing the tree altogether with their tosses, because they were giggling too much. "Well, guess I should call the cops," I thought, "since inefficient distribution of toilet paper in the trees just promotes disorder in the neighborhood." Just then, they piled back into the vehicle and gaily drove off, laughing and frolicking, and leaving the task essentially undone. I'll probably have to get out there myself and demonstrate to the neighbors how it's really supposed to be done.