Controlling Tree Squirrels

In this month's "Inside The City" Anita Clevenger writes about pestilential squirrels. Oh, has there ever been a pest as pesty as a squirrel?:

Before I was a gardener, I thought squirrels were cute. I now realize they are just rodents with fluffy tails. They’ve eaten my fruit, destroyed my sunflowers, raided my bird feeder, dug up my pots and planting beds, chewed twigs and leaves off my trees and planted a veritable pecan forest. They’ve gnawed utility lines and invaded the attic. They sit just out of reach and taunt my cat. They’re about as cute as a gang of juvenile delinquents.

It’s hard to prevent squirrels from wreaking havoc. They are agile and single-minded. Our overhead wires, fences, rooftops and trees are one big jungle gym for them. It may be possible to trim back overhanging trees to reduce access, but it’s unlikely that you will slow them down much. I’ve talked to many people who harvest almost no fruit from their trees because the squirrels beat them to it.

Of course, I managed to control my local population of squirrels, so I speak with a bit of authority on the subject, but I hit on the method quite by accident.

• I wanted to feed the birds in my small yard, but worried about squirrels raiding the feeder and about cats hiding in the foliage that might attack the birds; so....
• I moved the feeding location to outside the yard, on the pavement on the opposite side of the alley running behind my house, where the birds would be safer because there was little cover for hiding cats.
• The alley is adjacent to the DMV parking lot, and carries more traffic than most local alleys do.
• Squirrel brains, unlike bird brains, don't deal effectively with automobiles. Moving the feeding location across the alley safeguarded the birds but put the squirrels in grave jeopardy.
• The final result: after a year, the local population of squirrels plummeted from about twelve to about two. By providing squirrels with easy access to food in a dangerous location, I killed them off - with kindness.

There was lots of bloodshed, of course, which was messy, and there were some misunderstandings too. Dead squirrels attract crows. There was the day that two girls happened upon a crow dismembering a crushed squirrel behind my house. They were so incensed by what they thought was the crow's villainy in attacking a squirrel that they threw rocks at it and called it names. But I speak on behalf of the crow to say that the fault lay beyond the bird.

And so all's quiet in the neighborhood these days!