"Dogma"



At the party, W. (who is Chinese) piqued my memory and curiosity about Kevin Smith's 1999 movie "Dogma". W. said "It's a funny movie, but I didn't understand the Catholic parts." I thought that was funny - the movie is entirely about Catholicism, so - what did W. understand? Anyway, off to the video store to check it out....

It took me forever to view this movie. As soon as I would pop it into the VCR, people started calling for me on the phone. Obscure charities, for example. Long-winded friends. Even - I kid you not - Al Franken's Senatorial campaign in Minnesota, currently mired in the endless recount up there, and hard up for my cash. Actually, I think Satan really - really - didn't want me to watch this movie, and just made up all this static.

Smith discussed "Dogma" in that documentary, "An Evening With Kevin Smith", that I blogged about last year (here and here). The dialogue and acting in "Dogma" are considerably superior than they had been in "Clerks", and "Clerks II", not just because the subject material forced Smith to think through the script first, but also because the acting pool was more experienced (Ben Affleck; Matt Damon; Chris Rock, jeesh, even Alan Rickman; plus Alanis Morisette). Better actors often mean better movies. Plus, by the time Smith made this movie, he had already made several movies, and was able to avoid the charming but elementary goofs of the previous films (although the facial reaction scenes are still overdone for my taste).

I was one of the folks offended by the disclaimer at the start of the movie. You can't curry favor by describing the platypus - evidence of God's sense of humor - as a noble animal in one line, then call the noble platypus a stupid animal in the next line. The platypus is God's gift to us all....

Some of the philosophical back-and-forth was hard to follow. Just like W. said, "It's a funny movie, but I didn't understand the Catholic parts." Nevertheless, there was much to like:

Metatron: I am to charge you with a holy crusade.
Bethany: For the record, I work in an abortion clinic.
Metatron: Noah was a drunk. Look what he accomplished. And no one's even asking you to build an ark. All you have to do is go to New Jersey, and visit a small church on a very important day.
Bethany: New Jersey? That doesn't sound like much of a crusade.
Metatron: Aside from the fine print, that's it.
Bethany: What's the fine print?
Metatron: [mumbling into glass] Stopacoupleofangelsfromenteringandthusnegatingallexistence.
Bethany: Wait, wait, wait. Repeat that.
Metatron: Stop a couple of angels from entering and thus negating all existence. I hate when people need it spelled out for them.

And this:

Nun: You don't believe in God because of Alice in Wonderland?
Loki: No, "Through the Looking Glass". That poem, "The Walrus and the Carpenter" that's an indictment of organized religion. The walrus, with his girth and his good nature, he obviously represents either Buddha, or... or with his tusk, the Hindu elephant god, Lord Ganesha. That takes care of your Eastern religions. Now the carpenter, which is an obvious reference to Jesus Christ, who was raised a carpenter's son, he represents the Western religions. Now in the poem, what do they do... what do they do? They... They dupe all these oysters into following them and then proceed to shuck and devour the helpless creatures en masse. I don't know what that says to you, but to me it says that following these faiths based on mythological figures ensure the destruction of one's inner-being. Organized religion destroys who we are by inhibiting our actions... by inhibiting our decisions, out of... out of fear of some... some intangible parent figure who... who shakes a finger at us from thousands of years ago and says... and says, "Do it - Do it and I'll fuckin' spank you. "

And this:

Bethany: What's he like?
Metatron: God? Lonely. But funny. He's got a great sense of humor. Take sex for example. There's nothing funnier than the ridiculous faces you people make mid-coitus.
Bethany: Sex is a joke in heaven?
Metatron: The way I understand it, it's mostly a joke down here, too.

And this:

[first lines]
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, the driving force behind Catholicism WOW, Cardinal Glick.
Cardinal Glick: Thank you, thank you, thank you. Now we all know how the majority and the media in this country view the Catholic church. They think of us as a passe, archaic institution. People find the Bible obtuse... even hokey. Now in an effort to disprove all that the church has appointed this year as a time of renewal... both of faith and of style. For example, the crucifix. While it has been a time honored symbol of our faith, Holy Mother Church has decided to retire this highly recognizable, yet wholly depressing image of our Lord crucified. Christ didn't come to Earth to give us the willies... He came to help us out. He was a booster. And it is with that take on our Lord in mind that we've come up with a new, more inspiring vigil. So it is with great pleasure that I present you with the first of many revamps the "Catholicism WOW. " campaign will unveil over the next year. I give you... The Buddy Christ. Now that's not the sanctioned term we're using for the symbol, just something we've been kicking around the office, but look at it. Doesn't it... pop? Buddy Christ...

So, one thumb up for the movie, and another thumb up for Buddy Christ.