Geophysics From "The Onion"

What would it be like to touch a cloud? :

"It might feel like a marshmallow or like cotton candy," said geophysical sciences department chair Michael J. Foote, Ph.D., who in July received a $10 million National Science Foundation grant to analyze the effects of clouds on the human somatosensory system. "We know that it might be sticky. But it could also feel fluffy or creamy."

While Foote claimed that a person would likely attain instantaneous unconsciousness if laid horizontally atop a cumulus cloud, opposing scientists argued that a person would fall right through.