Lunchtime Service

When most people go to a sandwich shop, they get polite (if predictable) service.

When I go to a sandwich shop, I get personal attention from the manager. First, he shouts "your wife cheats!" This, of course, is a reference to DMTC's "Titanic - The Musical", which he saw on DVD, where I played second-class American passenger Edgar Beane, and where my social climbing wife, Alice Beane (Lauren Miller) spends altogether too much time trying to wheedle her way into first-class circles. Then, he grabs my bag of Fritos, kneads the bag, and crushes all the chips into corn dust. Then he opens the bag, fills the rest with salt, and hands it over with a cheesy smile and says: "Have a nice day!"

Nothing like personal service!