Club Empire Friday

(second in an irregular series regarding the nightclubs of Sacramento, the first installment having been Faces Friday, Jan. 27th)

This was my first time at Empire. I was attracted to the club because it seemed to be a rather large place, frequently-advertised on the radio, that I hadn't seen before. The line to enter moved fairly-quickly, which was good, because it was raining outside....

Entering the club, I was frisked by a security guard, who announced with a hint of menace that I had to remove my humble washcloth from my pocket and either stash it or throw it away. I carry a washcloth with me to soak up perspiration, because when I dance I sweat quite a lot. So, not wishing to either throw it away or stash it, I left it behind on a windowsill, for later retrieval. I wasn't prepared to quibble over the order, but it seemed a little odd as a security measure. After paying $10 cover and receiving a mysterious wristband, we entered the club.

I was disappointed entering the club. The name Empire seems to conjure up images of imperial splendor, and not the gritty concrete tilt-up warehouse that it appeared to be. Ce'st la vie. D. marvelled at the size of the house and speculated that they must be making a killing on the cover charge and the sale of alcohol. Let's see: $10 times roughly 400 people = $4,000 or so for the cover charge. Let's say $10,000 - $15,000 for the evening once alcohol gets included. But then, you've got to pay the security guards and the DJ and everyone else. Pshaw! It's nothing! A dozen drunken Filipinos drop that kind of cash all by themselves nightly at Thunder Valley Casino.

The evening was sponsored by 102.5 KSFM radio, featuring a variety of hip-hop, rap, and R&B music. Everyone sure looked young. In fact, everyone was young. I slowly became aware that it was an 18-and-over event. The wristbands apparently controlled who could buy alcohol, and who couldn't. The seats surrounding the dance floor were pushed forward and policed, so 21-and-uppers near the bar couldn't easily pass alcohol to under-21's on the dance floor.

D. wanted to dance in one of the cages, but it wasn't clear how to get there easily. There were a number of incongruities, like the snowboarding videos, apropos of nothing; the occasional fog machine blast; the empty wheelchair on the dance floor (the young owner of the wheelchair had limped over to a bar stool, but wanted to keep his ride nearby); and what I thought at first was a scrap of tar paper on the floor, but which eventually revealed itself to be a pair of panties - less incongruous than tar paper, maybe, but more mysterious. Whether I stepped to the left, or stepped to the right, I couldn't help but step on the panties.

It brought back memories of when I worked as a janitor at Lerners Stores, back in high school, and one day I had to do inventory on the bin-o-panties. At first, I counted them individually, tossing each carefully and lovingly into a second bin, but seeing that there were thousands of panties in the original bin, I started grabbing handfuls of them and shouted: "12! 24! 36!" as I tossed away. Anyway, I digress.... Given the unknown provenance of the panties, I resolved that, later that evening, when I walked Sparky through Sacramento's darkened, muddy gutters, we would take the LONG way around....

Lots of hip-grinding excitement on the floor. A little much, even for the libidinous teenager in me. At one point, Three Asian Girls approached, and danced nearby.

Strange announcements from the speakers. Someone's mother was at the door, the MC announced, over and over. Then the MC announced: "They've been saying a lot of shit about us on other radio stations around town, how we couldn't have an 18-and-over event here tonight, but yes we can!" I found this to be totally mysterious. Who is to say what they can, or can't, do at Club Empire? Who are THEY?

Then I saw this announcement in the paper, regarding rival radio station, 103.5, KBMB:

A hip-hop event, sponsored by KBMB (103.5 FM), "The Bomb," and planned for Friday night at the Hard Rock Café, was canceled based on police concerns about safety, according to the radio station.

Police spokesman Sgt. Matt Young said officers received "credible information" that gang members would be attending the event "in force" and passed the information on to event sponsors but did not cancel the event themselves.

KBMB representatives said the station agreed to the cancellation of planned performances by MIMS and Frontline.

But looks like a bigger event than a regularly-scheduled event like this one at Empire. Hmmmm.....Professional jealousy??? Don't know, because whatever was said on the radio, I never heard it. In any event, the crowd seemed pleasant enough, although perhaps a bit randy....make that, a lot randy....

The music featured nostalgic old standards, like Sir Mix-A-Lot's 'Baby Got Back':

[I've decided to remove the lyrics I excerpted, because they are provocative]

and new standards, like (Alex Powell's and Andrew Lemon's favorite song - not!) The Black-Eyed Peas' (featuring Fergie) 'My Humps':

[I've decided to remove these lyrics too, for the same reason]

Plus a few songs I was barely-familiar with, like the Sugababe's 'Freak Like Me':

[If those lyrics were provocative, these are worse]

Some other song called 'White Girls', where that seemed to be the only lyric, and for a minute everyone was muttering 'White Girls', plus lots of other songs I couldn't recall ever having heard before, but songs that the crowd nevertheless knew well, because the DJ would occasionally turn down the music and everyone would sing the mysterious songs by heart.

A fun night!