Nostalgia Fads

Every decade it rolls around, for a time period twenty years past!

Sometimes the time period is a little elastic. By watching as much 'I Love Lucy' as I have, you can tell in the 50's they were having a nostalgia fad for the 20's. It's a bit of a stretch, but you can understand: by universal agreement, everyone hated the 30's.

Nothing disheartened me more in the 70's than the nostagia fad for the 50's. What's the matter: no originality anywhere? Building on the popularity of 1973's "American Graffiti", television shows like "Happy Days" exploited warm memories for all they were worth.

Mysteriously, there was no discernable 60's nostalgia in the 80's. That is one of the great mysteries of all time (along with where socks disappear to, leaving all those unmatched orphan socks). The only equivalent mystery is the absence of a 40's nostalgia in the 60's (or maybe they called it 'The Lawrence Welk' show).

There was a kind of cheesy nostalgia for the 70's in the 90's (dang!: and just after I sold my great pair of tight Angel Flight bell bottom pants to a thrift store!), but since dance music had really gone underground for only two years (1981-82), there was no particular reason to have 70's nostalgia.

But these days, it's 80's nostalgia, which the radio stations are exploiting for all the warm memories they can possibly strip mine from people's heads. One advantage of 80's nostagia, of course, is listening again to 80's tunes on the radio! I heard Dire Strait's 'Industrial Disease' the other day, and it's just as pertinent today as then.

In a decade, I look forward to 90's nostalgia. Did any toy manufacturer ever make a Courtney Love Barbie doll? A Nancy Kerrigan baton? Time to buy all that rubbish, and (unlike my premature bell-bottom pant sale) hold on to it for the inevitable price escalation.

'Industrial Disease' (Dire Straits' album 'Love Over Gold' - 1982)

Now warning lights are flashing down in Quality Control,
Somebody threw a spanner, they threw him in the hole.
There's rumors in the loading bay and anger in the town,
Somebody blew the whistle and the walls came down.

There's a meeting in the boardroom, they're trying to trace a smell,
There's leaking in the washroom, there's a sneak in personnel.
Somewhere in the corridor someone was heard to sneeze,
"Goodness me could this be Industrial Disease ?"

Caretaker was crucified for sleeping at his post,
Refusing to be pacified, it's him they blame the most.
Watchdog's got rabies, the foreman's got the fleas,
Everyone concerned about Industrial Disease.

There's panic on the switchboard, tongues in knots,
Some come out in sympathy, some come out in spots.
Some blame the management, some the employees,
Everybody knows it's the Industrial Disease.

Yeah now the work force is disgusted, downs tools walks,
Innocence is injured, experience just talks.
Everyone seeks damages, everyone agrees that,
These are "classic symptoms of a monetary squeeze".

On ITV and BBC they talk about the curse,
Philosophy is useless, Theology is worse.
History boils over there's an economics freeze,
Sociologists invent words that mean "Industrial Disease"

Doctor Parkinson declared - "I'm not surprised to see you here
You've got smoker's cough from smoking, Brewer's droop from drinking beer.
I don't know how you came to get the Bette Davis knees,
But worst of all young man you've got Industrial Disease."

He wrote me a prescription, he said "You are depressed,
I'm glad you came to see me to get this off your chest.
Come back and see me later *ding* next patient please,
Send in another victim of Industrial Disease"

Ha,
Splendid.

I go down to Speaker's Corner I'm a thunderstruck,
They got free speech, tourists, police in trucks.
Two men say they're Jesus, one of them must be wrong,
There's a protest singer, he's singing a protest song.

He says "They wanna have a war, keep their factories,
They wanna have a war, keep us on our knees,
They wanna have a war to stop us buying Japanese,
They wanna have a war to stop Industrial Disease.

They're pointing out the enemy to keep you deaf and blind,
They wanna sap you energy, incarcerate your mind.
Give you Rule Brittania, gassy beer, page three,
Two weeks in Espana and Sunday striptease."

Meanwhile, first Jesus says - "I'd cure it soon
Abolish Monday mornings and Friday afternoons"
The other's out on hunger strike, he's dying by degrees.
How come Jesus gets Industrial Disease?