Flatter Than a Tortilla

I like Gustavo Arellano's take in today's LA Times:

If you’re looking for the best metaphor for how the California Republican Party blew the recall attempt against Gov. Gavin Newsom, look no further than the sight of mixed-martial-arts legend Tito Ortiz knocked out by Anderson Silva in the first round of a boxing match held on 9/11.

This time last year, Ortiz was a rising star for the GOP, the latest celebrity to make a political run as he campaigned for a seat on the Huntington Beach City Council. He ended up getting the most votes of any candidate in city history by espousing the MAGA school of politics — ridicule the libs, proclaim skepticism to coronavirus shutdowns and the pandemic itself and offer vague promises of freedom with little in actual, tangible plans.

But once it came time to actually duke it out in the octagon of democracy? Ortiz went down like a tree meeting a lumberjack. 9Instead of building a career as Surf City’s Trump-by-the-Sea, he left office in June after barely half a year, basically claiming the public was too mean to him and his family. Just three months later, Ortiz lay before Silva in the boxing ring, flatter than a tortilla. Why, even Trump was there to witness his acolyte’s demise. 

Way to impress Papi Trump, Tito!

...For the last quarter-century, state Republicans have acted like the Black Knight in “Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” that poor soul who insisted on fighting even after all his limbs were cut off, describing the amputations as mere flesh wounds, and then left bragging that he earned a draw against King Arthur as His Royal Highness left the squawking stump by the side of the road.

Nearly every big move that the state GOP has done to wrest power from Democrats — term limits, bigoted propositions, selling its soul to Trump — has spectacularly blown up in their face. Back in April, I wrote: “I’ll wager a roll of pesos that the ultimate loser will, again, be the Republican Party. The house — in this case, history — is on my side.” 

The attempted Newsom coup was the worst laugher yet — because it had the best chance of the many Hail Marys that California conservatives have thrown to actually work.