Hemorrhoids be Gone

If hemorrhoids got you down, this highly-toxic ointment will make all your worries go away - permanently:

California health officials are warning the public about a Vietnamese hemorrhoid ointment that is laced with a “highly dangerous amount of lead” and has killed a Sacramento woman.

California Health Department officials said in a written statement that the woman purchased the Vietnamese product in March through Facebook. A relative then shipped it to her from Vietnam. After using the ointment, the woman experienced symptoms related to lead poisoning and died. 

The Vietnamese product, in a small, round green container, is called Cao Bôi Trĩ Cây Thầu Dầu (Castor Oil Hemorrhoid Extract). Health officials said samples of the product showed the ointment had about 4% lead, a “highly dangerous amount.”