Every Time I Think My Streamline Moderne Talk Is Finished, I Find Myself Tweaking It More

But it's slowly getting better and better. I hope to knock it out of the park next month in Albuquerque.

Love The DHPU Crew

It's An Exaggerated Forecast, But Not By That Much

Rain is coming:

Areas around grass valley could experience upwards of 30-40" of rain this coming week. To put that in perspective, that's more than an ENTIRE year's worth of rainfall for Seattle. San Francisco could receive anywhere between 8-10" on top of already saturated soils (which is about 40% of an entire year's worth of rain).

Well this forecast is exaggerated a bit. Nevertheless, the amount of rain will be of flooding concern, mostly because it will rain six days straight, Saturday morning through Thursday afternoon, with almost no breaks at all. Around Grass Valley, rainfall amounts will be 10-11 inches, which is more than enough to flood communities, wash out bridges, and ruin roads. It's been so long since we've had one of these I'd almost forgotten what they look like. You read about them in musty old meteorological journals. Almost like they are describing a different planet.

I've been playing with the maps at the CNFRC. Here is their 6-day precipitation map.

By next weekend I'm sure it will seem a point of amusement, as we struggle to stay afloat while washing away to the sea, but we are still in a state of severe drought here in Sacramento County. Things have improved from the hallucinatory nightmare of the last five years, but Southern California particularly is still locked in drought.

Finally Biting The Bullet On The Sewer Line

On Tuesday, I was impressed by plumbing technology.

About a decade ago, plumbers diagnosed that my house's Orange Marburg sewer pipe had reached the end of its lifetime (typically 70 years, with most pipes in this neighborhood installed in the late 30's). A camera showed the pipe was beginning to collapse. I vowed to resist. So, for the last decade I've been fighting back. I obtained my own rooter and kept going. I was going to fight to the bitter end.

Things kept deteriorating, with the rooter becoming less effective over the years as the pipe decayed. Today, my rooter broke. The bitter end was here. Time to call pros.

I had been thinking of sending down gerbils with suicide vests to clear the line. Instead, the plumbers brought the biggest damned rooter device I had ever seen - like some kind of 30's Soviet industrial planner's dream gone amok. The nightmarish rooter did clear the line, even if only temporarily. Then they brought an excellent camera that showed the sorry state of the line and the abuse its taken over the years from opportunistic, destructive, and thirsty trees trying to survive the drought.

So, now awaiting the bid to do the repair....

New Year's Day Is Always Fun At The Hendersons

Jetta On "Worst Cooks In America"

Gathering New Year's Day night at Steve and Marilyn's house to watch Jetta's appearance on the Food Channel's "Worst Cooks in America". SacBee is on it:

Ostrofsky, 66, knew she had the right stuff for “Worst Cooks.” She saw its casting call on an acting agency bulletin board and immediately applied.

...“I live in just a little apartment,” she said. “The oven has never been turned on.”

...“The other contestants were a lot younger than me, but we helped each other,” she added. “Rushing around, there was a lot of tension to get things done. You try not to burn yourself or scald someone with boiling water. It was like an obstacle course to get everything done.”

Although she doesn’t plan “to start baking cookies,” Ostrofsky intends to finally take her clothes out of the oven and learn how to use it.

“That’s my resolution for 2017,” she said. “I can at least turn it on.”

People Claim to Have Seen a Mysterious Movie That Never Existed

Dan C. also claims to have seen a movie called "Vikings in New York" that apparently doesn't exist either:

This is one of the strangest internet stories you will likely ever read: There are people on Reddit and Twitter attempting to find a movie called Shazaam which starred actor and comedian Sinbad as a friendly genie. According to those who claim to have seen this movie, it came out before Shaq’s critically panned comedy called Kazaam, and was a relatively enjoyable ‘90s comedy.

The only problem is, there is no record of such a movie ever existing, and Sinbad himself says he never acted in it or even heard of it before random people on the internet started asking him about it.

The magazine NewStatesman has just published a fascinating investigative article about the conspiracy, and some theories as to why so many people have vivid memories of watching a movie that there is no evidence has ever existed. Literally, there are no records of the movie ever being made—no photos, no old VHS tapes, nothing. That’s despite cash rewards from people eager to prove it is real.

Love The "Marijuana Boogie" These Pachucos Do

Jimmy Carter Finally Leaves The Southern Baptists

He tells 'em to go pound sand:

I HAVE been a practising Christian all my life and a deacon and Bible teacher for many years. My faith is a source of strength and comfort to me, as religious beliefs are to hundreds of millions of people around the world. So my decision to sever my ties with the Southern Baptist Convention, after six decades, was painful and difficult. It was, however, an unavoidable decision when the convention's leaders, quoting a few carefully selected Bible verses and claiming that Eve was created second to Adam and was responsible for original sin, ordained that women must be "subservient" to their husbands and prohibited from serving as deacons, pastors or chaplains in the military service.

You See, This Is What Good Liberal Propaganda Looks Like

Apparently not literally true, perhaps PhotoShop. In any case, I don't care.

Your Invited To Trump's Inauguration

Thursday's So Fun

Sadie's Got 'Tude

Various recent fitness classes included Dolly's Locking Class and Last Friday Evening of 2016, plus this one. I like Sadie's nonchalance.

Yeah, But Her E-Mails

Invite the Whole World!

Rubí Ibarra and her quinceañera:

Rubí’s adventure started a few weeks ago, when her father filmed a video invitation to her quinceañera, a birthday tradition akin to Sweet 16 party. The brief missive, featuring Rubí and her parents standing outside, invited “everybody” to the party in a rural part of the state of San Luis Potosí.

...The family later said that they had meant to just invite locals: “Everybody,” not everybody. By then they had learned that online, everyone’s a local. As the invitation spread, the family appeared on morning talk shows, and an airline offered a 30 percent discount on flights to San Luis Potosí for the party....

The Mexican actor Gael García Bernal appeared in a video parodying the invitation:

The much-hyped party took place on Monday, and although not everyone who RSVP-ed showed up to the ranch—rude!—thousands did. Rubí was resplendent in a tiered fuschia gown and a tiara. The day began with a Mass in her honor, and proceeded to the big event, the chiva. The Associated Press, which does not typically cover birthday parties, described the atmosphere thusly:

Family members had to open a path for the girl through dozens of reporters and photographers snapping her picture so she could reach a Mass for her in a field in the state of San Luis Potosi. A large billboard saying “Welcome to my 15th birthday party” with Rubi’s picture towered over the tents and tables filled with food.

Like all heartwarming viral stories, this one looks a little messier under the microscope. A 66-year-old man was trampled to death in the horse race, and another man was injured. Rubí looked overwhelmed at times, with strangers crowding around her for selfies. The front page of one newspaper announced that the party had caused a scandal, with the girl’s mother lashing out at journalists. The Dallas Morning News declared that “the Internet wrecked” the party. But then again, the internet made the party, too.