Let Us Proceed, Quibbles Aside!

Former California Recall 2003 gubernatorial candidate Diana Foss points out that former California Recall 2003 gubernatorial candidate Cheryl Bly-Chester is making waves again:

Last year - on Sept. 16, to be precise - the state Reclamation Board, a relatively obscure state agency that oversees flood protection levees, approved a potentially far-reaching policy to intercede when local governments and developers propose residential subdivisions behind levees designed to protect farmland.

... Ten days later, before the new policy could be finally adopted, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger fired the entire board and replaced it with seven new appointees, most of whom had strong ties to land developers. Ever since, skeptics of building homes behind agricultural levees - including deposed members of the Reclamation Board - have wondered aloud whether the new board would be more favorably disposed toward development interests.

The issue was settled, it would seem, late last month, when the Reclamation Board voted to allow the developer of an immense subdivision on a Delta island south of Stockton to begin widening the existing levee and - ignoring warnings from the board's attorney that it was violating state open-meeting laws - expanded the developer's permit to indirectly allow construction of luxury, riverview homes atop the widened levee.

A transcript of the board's April 21 meeting reveals that two of the board's members - Cheryl Bly-Chester, who owns a Roseville engineering firm that does work for developers, and Teri Rie, a Contra Costa County public works engineer - pushed hard to expand the permit sought by Cambay Group, the developer of the River Islands project.

The development on Stewart Tract, a Delta island that flooded in 1997 when a levee broke, envisions a community of 11,000 residential units, two golf courses, several marinas and 5 million square feet of commercial space. Cambay, owned by British financier F. Allan Chapman, has already obtained the enthusiastic support of the small city of Lathrop, whose boundaries include Stewart Tract.

Cambay - acceding to the board staff - had sought just a permit to begin shoring up and widening the existing levee, but the firm had made no secret of its unhappiness with the board staff's go-slow approach under which the levee expansion would occur first and the issue of what could be built atop the levee would be taken up later. Cambay project director Susan Dell'Osso complained that the company was reluctant to do the levee work without assurances that home construction would be allowed, and that became the board's bone of contention during a lengthy and often rambling debate.

Member Butch Hodgkins, former director of the Sacramento Area Flood Control Agency, tried to delay a decision on housing, but Bly-Chester and Rie eventually prevailed on a 5-1 vote even though the board's counsel, Scott Morgan, warned repeatedly that altering the permit to imply approval of housing atop the levee would violate rules against taking up issues not on the agenda. Hodgkins actually voted with the majority in the end. The only dissenter was Rose Burroughs, owner of a Denair livestock company.

[Updated 05/12/06, 4:00 p.m.] There definitely would be a downside to projects like these if they are as described in Walters' article. Placing premium houses on top of levees would increase the state's liability and add to the cost of levee maintenance.

Nevertheless, this project apparently intends to place houses on fill behind the levees, not on the levees proper (this distinction causes confusion). Project costs are likely to be heavy, however, because of all the earthmoving, and without the ability to sell premium lots on fill, the project itself would be jeopardized.:

VICE PRESIDENT BLY-CHESTER: Thank you, Susan.

What I've heard -- and I want to make sure the rest of the Board members really heard this -- is that the only way they can afford to do this multi-million dollar flood improvement project for the State of California is if they have lot premiums that they can sell. They cannot sell lot premiums if they don't know how close to the levee edge they can build.

So they cannot afford to do this. The state will not get the benefit of this project. And it's free levee protection, is what it is, for the State, as far as the state's concerned.

So this project is not going to be worth it to the applicant if they cannot do lot premiums. They can to lot premiums unless they know where they can build their buildings. We need to give them some direction here so they can do this project.

O Superman

I was listening to "The Other Side - New York", a compilation of edgy performance-oriented music regarding New York City (as chosen by Fischerspooner), and was pleased to hear Laurie Anderson's "O Superman", which dates to 1981. I remember the buzz that accompanied this song when it first came out: all the modern dancers at the University of Arizona couldn't resist but to take this song out for a spin!

In any event, after 9/11, the song is spookier and edgier today than it has ever been! (Lyrics from Let's Sing It):

O Superman. O judge. O Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad.
O Superman. O judge. O Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad.
Hi. I'm not home right now. But if you want to leave a
message, just start talking at the sound of the tone.
Hello? This is your Mother. Are you there? Are you
coming home?

Hello? Is anybody home? Well, you don't know me,
but I know you.
And I've got a message to give to you.
Here come the planes.

So you better get ready. Ready to go. You can come
as you are, but pay as you go. Pay as you go.
And I said: OK. Who is this really? And the voice said:
This is the hand, the hand that takes. This is the
hand, the hand that takes.
This is the hand, the hand that takes.
Here come the planes.
They're American planes. Made in America.
Smoking or non-smoking?

And the voice said: Neither snow nor rain nor gloom
of night shall stay these couriers from the swift
completion of their appointed rounds.

'Cause when love is gone, there's always justice.
And when justive is gone, there's always force.
And when force is gone, there's always Mom. Hi Mom!

So hold me, Mom, in your long arms.
So hold me, Mom, in your long arms.
In your automatic arms. Your electronic arms.
In your arms.
So hold me, Mom, in your long arms.
Your petrochemical arms. Your military arms.
In your electronic arms.

Rise of the Mammals

Via Atrios comes this stirring column by Gene Lyons about the demise of the media pundit dinosaurs. Regarding Steve Colbert's recent roasting of the President:

Satire comes in many forms. I doubt that Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal” evoked belly laughs among Ireland’s 18 th century English occupiers when it recommended remedying poverty by roasting peasants’ infants like suckling pigs.

George Orwell’s “Animal Farm” had few fans in the Politburo when it mocked communism’s pretense of universal brotherhood: “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.” Written in 1943, Orwell’s fable wasn’t published until August 1945, when World War II ended, making Josef Stalin and Winston Churchill no longer allies.

This president loves dishing it out. The Associated Press reporter who introduced Colbert told an anecdote about Bush teasing him at a press conference for having “a face for radio.” Ha, ha, ha. Good one, Mr. President. He is awfully homely. Colbert’s performance, however, made it clear that Bush doesn’t enjoy taking it.

Well, tough. Millions of Americans haven’t enjoyed being subjected to Bush’s swaggeringly contemptuous disregard for the truth. Nor, to come to the point, the posturing of media enablers like Cohen, a liberal columnist who wrote in 2000 that the nation was “in dire need of a conciliator, a likable guy who will make things better and not worse.... That man is George W. Bush.”

The larger point is that Beltway courtiers like Cohen, Time’s Joe Klein and others currently succumbing to the vapors over critical e-mails from fans thrilled by Colbert’s gutsy performance are on their way out. The brief reign of the celebrity pundit began with cable TV and appears to be ending with the Internet. Washington socialites are quickly being replaced in public esteem by politically oriented bloggers like Josh Marshall, Kevin Drum, the inimitable Digby, Glenn Greenwald, Billmon, Atrios and many others. As Greg Sargent recently pointed out in The American Prospect, “Readers are choosing between the words on a screen offered by Klein and other commentators and the words on a screen offered by bloggers on the basis of one thing alone: The quality of the work.” Sure, there’s a danger of groupthink. That’s true of all mass media. But there’s also a fierce independence and an intellectual honesty among the best online commentators that are making Washington courtiers awfully nervous.

Arched Eyebrows

This sort of stuff is fun, but just like with La Fajada Butte in Chaco Canyon, you have to limit use, or ban use entirely, just to preserve what Nature gave us:

Climber Dean Potter scaled Delicate Arch, the soaring desert symbol of southern Utah. Now, the National Park Service wants to make sure he doesn't do it again.

Arches National Park on Tuesday announced a tightening of its rules on climbing after Potter announced with photographs and video that he made an unassisted climb of the arch just after daybreak Sunday.

Arches Park Superintendent Laura Joss said she reported Potter's climb to the Interior Department's chief lawyers, and park rangers were investigating whether Potter did any damage to the arch.

Joss said she was rewriting the rules to ban climbing of any named arches or natural bridges in the park.

Huygens Descent - The Movie

Boy, these carefully-assembled videos are great! Space.com hosts two videos showing the descent of the Huygens probe to Titan on January 14, 2005. The first video is nice, with a narration from the folks at LPL in Tucson, AZ.

At this Web Page, the second video shows other data displays and has a very soothing, bell-laden soundtrack.

Just the best stuff!

Proto-Summer

There's a Southwestern and Intermountain West heat wave coming over the next week, which will be complete with mountain thundershowers. It'll be like a proto-summer, or a proto-monsoon, in NM, Utah, and NV (and a little in AZ too). Probably nothing in the Valley of the Sun, except sun, at least for now.

There are no Atlantic tropical storms yet, but there is a 1000-mile band of thunderstorms lining up over the eastern Pacific Ocean over the next week that looks pretty formidable (west of Costa Rica and south of Acapulco), so there may be an early tropical storm or two out there.

Skateboarding in P.E.

About time!:

The kids at Douglass Elementary School already had a climbing wall and a zip line in their gymnasium. Then their P.E. teacher learned to skateboard.

So the students are taking up skateboarding too. It's the latest in a trend toward physical education that's fun and tempts kids into staying active outside of school and perhaps years later.

... "Skateboarding is definitely a new activity in school P.E. classes," said Paula Kun, spokeswoman for the National Association for Sport and Physical Education. "Not everyone is going to love it, but I'm sure it'll be a fun, new activity."

... Experts say school P.E. programs in America are undergoing a dramatic change -- from competitive team sports and physical fitness testing to a smorgasbord of appealing options like yoga, martial arts and climbing. The changes come amid growing concern over children's sedentary habits, helping fuel childhood obesity. About 34 percent of U.S. children are estimated to be overweight or obese.

Which reminds me, it's time to skateboard again. The only time I ever skateboarded was three years ago. The camera crew from San Francisco dared me to skateboard for the first time, to demonstrate just what I was prepared to do to become Governor of California. It was fun, and captured on video, but I suspect they are using the video in P.E. classes across the country, demonstrating just what not to do....

Mystic Dwarfs

And I was just lamenting the other day that I can't forsee things worth a damn. Some people get all the luck!:

A Philippine judge who claimed he could see into the future and admitted consulting imaginary mystic dwarfs has asked for his job back after being fired by the country's Supreme Court.

... He told investigators that three mystic dwarfs -- Armand, Luis and Angel -- helped him carry out healing sessions during breaks in his chambers.

Way Too Late

It's been evident for years, decades even, that FLDS wasn't just a church, wasn't just a scam, but rather a criminal enterprise. So only now is the state of Utah starting an investigation.

Utah has launched an organized-crime investigation into a polygamist sect and its fugitive leader Warren Jeffs, now on the FBI's 10 Most Wanted list.

... The FLDS church is one of a number of polygamist sects in and near Utah. Followers believe The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or Mormon church, went the wrong direction when it abandoned polygamy more than a century ago as Utah was seeking statehood. Estimates of the number of polygamists range from 30,000 to 100,000.

Jeffs has been on the run for years. On Saturday, he was added to the FBI's Ten Most Wanted Fugitives list, and the federal reward for him was boosted to $100,000.

Lawmakers And The National Anthem

Difficult song. Andee Thorpe sings it very well. How about our lawmakers, the one's who insist that it not be sung in Spanish?:

Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., sang the first stanzas so robustly we weren't about to challenge his knowledge of the rest. South Carolina Republican Sen. Lindsay Graham was gentlemanly when we put him on the spot, saying, "I am like 61 percent of Americans. If I had to get up and recite the national anthem, I would fail miserably."

We came upon a woman dressed as a fish — she was lobbying for clean water — and she sang it with just a minor flub. A group of chiropractors whirled around and sang it backward. Get it? Backward.

Yopp! - "Suessical, the Musical" at DMTC's YPT


Final bows. Working from left to right, people I easily recognize: Blake Thomas (Thing 1); Bird Girls in the back row (Hannah Allen, Kimberley Casazza, Caitlin Humphreys, and Hannah Trost); Rebecca Rudy & Linnea Lampinen (front row), Kennedy Wenning (Mrs. Mayor, back row); Julia Soto (Sour Kangaroo) and Anna Miles (Mayzie LaBird), back row; Elliot Mende (Cat in the Hat, back row), Andrew Lemons (Horton, next to Cat in the Hat), Jocelyn Price (Gertrude McFuzz, back row), Andrew Lampinen (Vlad Vladikoff, back row), Mary Ellen Price (Thing 2, front row); Kat Holder and Joey Lemons (back row); and the four Wickershams (Cass Olson, Cody Craven, Wyatt Floerke, and Casey Bowman).



Bows for Julia Soto (Sour Kangaroo), Blake Thomas (Thing 1) and Mary Ellen Price (Thing 2). Back row, working from left to right: Hudson Shively (Jojo), Anna Miles (Mayzie LaBird), Jocelyn Price (Gertrude McFuzz), and Andrew Lemons (Horton).

Dr. Suess' books came out in the late fifties and early sixties, so I'm among the first generations of school kids to have had the pleasure to read his tales (I started elementary school in 1962). Dr. Suess' whimsical books reached instant, timeless, classic status immediately: they are as fresh today as the day they first appeared.

Very nice YPT show. Several standouts... Hudson Shively as Jojo. Wonderful presence on stage. Anna Miles was sassy as Mayzie LaBird: hope to see more of her flamboyance on stage! Cody Craven was excellent as General Genghis Khan Schmitz - very articulate and emphatic. Elliot Mende made a good Cat in the Hat: I especially liked the Yiddish imitation.

Sounds like Julia Soto has been training for R&B singing - excellent stage presence and singing! As an up-and-coming presence, Kennedy Wenning caught my eye. She was required to be formal for her role as Mrs. Mayor, but she played it excellently. Andrew Lemons is great on stage, although his voice suffered at the beginning of Sunday evening (he was over-taxed - he was also doing "Bye, Bye Birdie" this weekend at VAPAC).

I'm really glad that Jocelyn Price did the choreography. Some of the movement was very clever: the 'Perils of Pauline' part, which I almost didn't catch, because of the multifaceted layers of activity, with Jojo, the Thingys, and the Cat in the Hat at the top of Act II, really caught my eye. For choreography, it's important that the person doing it have close and intimate contact with dancers and the dance world, in order to retain the freshness required for good work. Teenage dancers seem very well suited for the task. Teenagers blossom, dancewise, from ages 12-15, and have the time required to hone their skills. Good job, Jocelyn! (If only we could get Erin Carpenter back to do some dance stuff...)

According to the Davis Enterprise, Emily Jo Seminoff (currently at Solano Community College) contributed much in the costuming of the show (Costume Design: Jenifer Price). Good job, all!

Poppies...Well, Not Poppies, Exactly

Sunday afternoon at the Hoblit Performing Arts Center. "Wizard of Oz" is on stage, inside, at this very moment!

Look at these nice flowers. The property management firm (Buzz Oates) takes care of these. They should be poppies! They aren't though. They look like they are from the Sunflower family (Asteraceae), not the Poppy family (Papaveraceae). Whatever they are, they sure are pretty on a Sunday afternoon! And I feel very, very sleepy.....

When Elephants Fight, The Grass Suffers

It's high school graduation season again, and this year, two girls from Albuquerque are graduating. The girls are cousins. One is the daughter of a dorm mate, and the other is the daughter of his sister.

I was surprised, first, that either was old enough to graduate, and second, that I was invited, since I've met one girl maybe four or five times over the years, and the other just once. But hey, it's the season, and and they are to be congratulated!

The girls live on opposite sides of town, and go to cross-town rival high schools. The west side (Cibola) Class of 2006 class motto is:

Life is not measured
by the number of breaths we take
but by the moments
that take our breath away.

The east side (Manzano) Class of 2006 class motto is:

Life doesn't consist of
how many breaths you take
but by how many moments
take your breath away.

I sense trouble.

Another Bad Hurricane Season Approaches

I believe this. Already, with the NOGAPS model loops, you see proto-hurricanes already trying to fire up in the Caribbean and elsewhere, and May isn't even half over yet. The cause is primarily a natural temperature cycle of Atlantic water, and who knows about global warming? Hurricane formation is something like a nucleation phenomenon, and a slight warming can lead to a proliferation of the strongest hurricanes. Conversely, slight cooling could shut down all the big ones.:

In what could signal a frightening new fact of life in the age of global warming, Canadian and U.S. forecasters are warning that another major hurricane season is brewing in the Atlantic Ocean.

The 2006 hurricane season officially opens on June 1, and already scientists are telling people living in eastern North America that numerous storms are predicted, with as many as five major hurricanes packing winds of 180 km/h or greater.

"It's kind of comparable to what we were looking at last year at this time," says Bob Robichaud, a meteorologist with the Canadian Hurricane Centre in Dartmouth, N.S.

"Last year we were looking at 12 to 15 storms and this year the forecast is for about 17. No one would go out on a limb and say it is going to be just as bad as last year, but the indications are there that it is still going to be another active season, almost twice as active as normal."

Last year's hurricane season was the most destructive on record.

There were 27 named storms, 15 hurricanes and seven intense hurricanes during the 2005 season. The worst damage was along the U.S. Gulf coast.

Scientists with the Colorado State University hurricane forecast team say the same factors that contributed to last year's violent season are still in play this year.

"The Atlantic Ocean remains anomalously warm, and tropical Pacific sea surface temperatures have continued to cool," says Colorado University forecaster Phil Klotzbach, explaining two of the key triggers for hurricanes.

..."We are seeing stronger hurricanes - almost a 100 per cent increase in category fours and fives," he says.

"When they do develop, they're a lot bigger, tougher and have more destructive power. They stay together longer. This is the concern. They seem to have more power. That could have a connection to global warming - the fact the atmosphere has changed and ocean temperatures have warmed."

... Phillips says that despite this year's grim forecast, a lot can happen to shut down offshore hurricanes and prevent them from causing onshore harm.

"The temperature of the water has to be right, the winds have to be just perfect, the timing has to be just so and the depth of the water has to be just so," Phillips says.

"It's like baking a souffle. A lot of things have to come together and if someone slams the door, it won't rise."

Last American Survivor of Titanic Passes On

And the last one who actually remembered:

Lillian Gertrud Asplund, the last American survivor of the sinking of the Titanic in 1912, has died, a funeral home said Sunday. She was 99.

Asplund, who was just 5 years old, lost her father and three brothers -- including a fraternal twin -- when the "practically unsinkable" ship went down in the North Atlantic after hitting an iceberg.

... Asplund was the last Titanic survivor with actual memories of the sinking, but she shunned publicity and rarely spoke about the events.

At least two other survivors are living, but they were too young to have memories of the disaster. Barbara Joyce West Dainton of Truro, England, was 10 months old and Elizabeth Gladys "Millvina" Dean of Southampton, England, was 2 months old.

"Guys And Dolls" Premieres - Runaway Stage Productions



Final Bows. Foreground, Musical Director Sean Bianco, and the orchestra. Actors on stage, left to right: Scott Reese (Lt. Branigan), Michael McElroy (Harry the Horse), Frank Hardin (Arvide Abernathy), Scott Woodard (Nicely-Nicely Johnson), Bob Baxter (Nathan Detroit), Beth Nilsen (Sarah Brown), Dave Lack (Sky Masterson), Miss Adelaide (Lauren Miller), Carlo Stowers (Benny Southstreet), Kyle Hadley (Big Julie), Anne-Marie Trout (General Cartwright).

Went to see the Friday premiere of "Guys and Dolls". Lots of good performances, with just a few opening night jitters. Characteristic Runaway zeal and rapid pacing kept the show from dragging.

Beth Nilsen played Sarah Brown and Dave Lack played Sky Masterson in an ideal manner. It was easy to tell Beth was having a great time in 'If I Were A Bell.' Dave shined in 'Luck Be A Lady.'

Bob Baxter was funny as Nathan Detroit (really liked his unexpected exit in 'Sue Me.')

It was real intriguing watching Lauren Miller as Miss Adelaide. Lauren played the same role at DMTC in March, 2004, but there were many changes in approach here. Adelaide's now a redhead (formerly a blonde). The pacing of the songs, particularly 'Adelaide's Lament' is different than two years ago, and the enunciation of some words (e.g., 'endure') is more open-mouthed. Lauren's acting has improved - the acting seemed to be better than I remember from two years ago. She's a huge asset to the show. [Update: Steve Isaacson informs me that Lauren was a redhead two years ago as well. WHAT!!?? Is my memory is shoddy? Well, Steve has an elephantlike recall of detail, and he was Nathan Detroit besides, so I defer to his memory.]

I thought the dancing was too processional for my taste, starting first with 'Runyonland', and also in the beginning part of 'Havana.' Part of that emphasis might have been a structural feature - the runway loop downstage of the orchestra, last seen in 'Pirates of Penzance,' is back, but I recall Pam Kay Lourentzos was able to fight back against linearity.

In 'Havana', the rhythm bothered me. Latin rhythms are generally 123/123, but here they started as 12/12/123, which is more of a tango rhythm, not a salsa or samba rhythm. OK, I guess, for theatrical dancing, but for me it created an estrangement. The last half of 'Havana' got much better, particularly with the couple dancing and the fight sequence. Runaway pays a lot of attention to getting fight sequences right. I was surprised to discover after the show that Ron Cisneros was the choreographer. The dancing seemed un-Ron-like. I wonder if he was aiming more for a period, MGM-studio feel?

In some ways, the hardest dancing to do is the Hotbox scenes: 'A Bushel and a Peck' and 'Take Back Your Mink.' There are too many constraints on the scenes to really let loose - no Martha Graham here - so some variant of relying on cuteness and posing has to be done. I enjoyed seeing Kaitlin Flint up there, doing her cute best.

Scott Woodard was a fine Nicely-Nicely. His performance was much more natural in this show than it had been in "Sweeney Todd." My guess is that comedy is his forte, not drama. Carlo Stowers also put in a good Benny Southstreet. Kyle Hadley made a commanding - and funny - Big Jule.

Michael McElroy was a good Harry The Horse, but he seemed to be suffering a bit of costuming jiu-jitsu. His cream-colored coat is really nice close-up, but best for winter and everyone else is set for summer. He got into the spirit of 'The Crapshooter's Dance,' but probably got a bit too disheveled. In one of Michael's first blog posts, he mentioned the metrosexual quiz. I suggest at least 35% metrosexual for the sewer scene.

Frank Hardin got a song! Frank approached 'More I Cannot Wish You' in a very tender and earnest way, acting more than usual for this song, which worked for me.

I was surprised to see two people in the show: Charlotte Hartshorne, who did 'Guys and Dolls' at Woodland Opera House in 2001, and who is in my Sunday ballet class with Pam Kay Lourentzos, and also Tony Rodriguez, who I last saw on stage in DMTC's 'Tommy,' in 2001, and also singing at Max's Opera Cafe in Arden Fair Mall (until it closed last year). Glad to see them both again on stage!

Oddly enough, The Drunk (Jason Parsons) made only one unexpected entrance (at the beginning of 'Marry The Man Today'), and not in the show's two customary places (I played The Drunk in both WOH's 2001 and DMTC's 2004 "Guys And Dolls", so I'm sensitive to where he should be). Jason has such good facial expressions! What a joy!

There were some slow entrances and dyslexic dialogue on opening night, but by and large, things went smoothly. Microphone technical lapses were few. I thought the lighting was a bit too dark for my taste.

After the show, I told Mike and Lauren 'looks like you were having fun up there!' Lauren reminded me that we had both participated in a conversation at DMTC concerning what certain stock phrases really mean, in particular, the trite boilerplate people are prone to use after a show. Oh yeah, I forgot! If I remember correctly, 'looks like you were having fun up there' translates roughly, and acidly, as 'well, at least someone was enjoying themselves.' I reminded Lauren that, despite my best efforts, my expression is about as genuine as $3 bill, or as down to earth as a Stepford Tupperware party. I can't help myself. I was sincere, but good luck ever convincing anyone of that!

Great show! Check it out!

"Guys And Dolls"

Sacramento Bee caption: Runaway Stage Productions presents "Guys and Dolls," featuring, from left, Beth Nilson, David Lack, Lauren Miller and Bob Baxter. It opens at 8 tonight and continues through May 28 at the 24th Street Theatre, 2791 24th St.
Daniel Battershell Photography

Premieres tonight at Runaway Stage Productions!

Where There's Smoke...

I guess this sex/bribery scandal has legs after all, but fat chance learning about it from the mainstream media - it's a conspiracy of total silence there. Only among the liberal blogs is the subject getting any coverage at all:

CIA Director Porter Goss has resigned, President Bush said Friday.

Doesn't anyone want to know why he resigned, or who else might have to resign? No? Thought so! After all, we all listen to FOX and the rest of the mainstream media, and they are doing their best to distract public attention with the silly Patrick Kennedy story.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain! The Great and Magnificent Oz has spoken!

DMTC/YPT Summer Youth Theater Activity for 2006

From DMTC, for the kids of summer 2006:

The Davis Musical Theatre Company’s Young Performer Theater Division announces auditions for their summer musical PETER PAN. The auditions will be held Monday May 8, 2006 & Tuesday May 9, 2006 at 4:30pm with callbacks on Wednesday May 10, 2006 also at 4:30pm at the Hoblit Performing Arts Center, 607 Pena Drive, Davis. Please bring sheet music for a song that you have rehearsed (but not from Peter Pan). You only need to sing enough of your song to demonstrate how well you can carry a tune and follow our piano player’s accompaniment (no taped music or a cappella please). After singing, there will be reading from the show. Jan Isaacson will direct the show. The show will be double cast with a total of 40 cast members, which includes, if you are a principal character on one weekend, then you are in the ensemble the other weekend. There will be a cost of $125 for this summer activity.

Read Through: Monday, May 15, 2006; 4:30 – 6:00
Parent Meeting: Monday, May 15, 2006; 6:00 – 7:00
Rehearsal will be Monday – Thursday and they begin on July 10, 2006.
Rehearsal times will be: July 10, 2006 – August 10, 2006; 1:00 – 4:00
Tech Week: August 14 – 17, 2006; 4:00 – 8:00
Show dates are August 18 - August 27, 2006
Fridays 7:00 pm, Saturdays 2:15 & 7:00 pm, Sundays 2:15

Mike Metzger is a God

And still enough bones to count as human too.

Overzealous Recruitment

One effective way to join the dark side (at least according to the movies).

A twisted teenage vampiress attacked three girls who attend her Queens high school - savagely sinking her teeth into their necks in a series of bizarre bloodlettings, a shocking new lawsuit charges.

White Fabric

Ever have one of those epiphanies, where just the sight, sound, or smell of something triggers a flood of memories?

I was reading this about Coachella 2006:

There always seems to be one ubiquitous T-shirt at every edition of the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival in Indio, Calif. Sometimes it's merely a band shirt, like Siouxsie & the Banshees or, no joke, Rooney. In 2004, it was a black shirt with George Bush on it, along with the words, "Not My President." And this past weekend, some individuals paraded around the Empire Polo Fields just a few hours south of Las Vegas sporting "Madonna Killed Coachella" on their tees.

Ever since promoters of the venerable event announced the addition of the former Material Girl to its 80-plus artist Coachella 2006 roster, some of the festival's diehard fans declared the premiere music festival in the United States had finally jumped the shark. Pre-concert quibbling continued online last week with the last-minute booking of Kanye West, one of last year's most commercially successful pop acts.

Just Saturday night, I watched portions of the new movie "Coachella", on DVD. I bought the movie (sight unseen, even though it recently-ran at the Crest Theater) since it seemed likely that it might be fun. And indeed, there are fun parts - the fellow who invented all kinds of quixotic, Burning-Man style robots comes first to mind. But a lot of the acts are - well, not that good. This collegiate critic seems to have nailed the problems, but opinions differ: Variety liked it, for example.

Watching the movie, I was worried, at first, when I saw Fischerspooner preparing to take the stage. The big white tent looked amateurish, the stage looked pedestrian, and the dancers with the feathered headdresses looked small and vulnerable. Not until the lights kicked in and the dancers started moving did I revel in the fun of this group I had heard of, but never seen.

And I was looking at the fabric of the tent - the fabric of the white tent - and then suddenly I was back in Tucson, in 1985, at a bizarre Science-Expo-Culture event slammed together by well-meaning, but clueless, promoters, and hosted in a series of white, fabric tents in the parking lot of Tucson's El Con Mall. Inside one of the tents, I watched a tall, handsome man, dressed in coat-and-tails, sing opera, accompanied by piano, all the while a mechanical wood chipper, operated by city employees, ground away at eucalyptus branches in the park directly across the street. Opera Man could barely be heard above the sporadic, keening mechanical roar. He kept his composure, but reading his face, I feared for the future of Tucson Parks & Recreation employees.

Cultural events in outdoor tents are always chancy. Opera is very vulnerable, rock concerts are better (e.g., Fischerspooner, and hopefully Madonna), and circuses are best (once again, hopefully Madonna)! She's coming soon to San Jose, isn't she?

Here is Fischerspooner's 'Emerge':

Hi
Huh-I
Hyper
Hyper-media-ocrity
You don't need to
Emerge from nothing
You don't need to
Tear away
You don't need to
Tear away
Feels good
Looks good
Sounds good
Looks good
Feels good too
Feels good too
(Uh-huh that's right)
Feels good too
(Uh-huh that's right)
You don't need to
Emerge from nothing
You don't need to
Tear away
You don't need to
Emerge from nothing
You don't need to
Tear away
(Uh huh that's right)
(Uh huh that's right)
You don't need to
Emerge from nothing
You don't need to
Tear away
You don't need to
Emerge from nothing
You don't need to
Tear away
You don't need to
Emerge from nothing
You don't need to
Tear away
You don't need to
Emerge from nothing
You don't need to
Tear away
[Modem noise]: Look alive!
You don't need to
Emerge from nothing
You don't need to
Tear away

Boo!

Sen. Liddy Dole (R-NC) is worried, even panicked, by the Democrats:

In a fundraising appeal this week, Sen. Elizabeth Dole, R-N.C., asks for immediate financial help "to prevent the most left-wing Democrat Party in history from seizing control of the United States Senate" in the November elections.

... In the fundraising letter, Dole rails against liberal Democrats in the Senate and warns that if they prevail, "our worst fears" will be realized. She argues that empowered Democrats would "increase your taxes, call for endless investigations, congressional censure and maybe even impeachment of President Bush, put the war on terrorism on the back-burner" and "Take over the White House in 2008!"

I thought the Democrats were listless, spineless, convictionless flip-floppers left behind by the Glorious March of Market-Force History. Instead, we find Democrats are hairy, ugly, immoral bomb-throwing radicals. Whatever. But here is Liddy's real problem, and why she's so worried:

Senate Democrats have maintained a 2-to-1 advantage over Dole's campaign committee in money raised for the midterm contests. Senate Democrats have $32.1 million cash on hand and the National Republican Senatorial Committee has $16.5 million, according to the most recent filings.

False Coriolis Legend

Jerry notes:

You may have heard the story about how British gunners kept missing their target at the Battle of the Falkland Islands in WWI because they got the sign wrong on the Coriolis force. Looks like this may be a myth. (I think that I first heard about this in a physics class.)

Checklist

Parts of the daily routine:

• Where's A.? The landscaping has been nuked, numerous projects started, but incomplete; now it's time to reassemble!
• J. the plumber will fix the solenoid valves. Yay!
• Should I remove the dead possum from the yard? I remember when a mouse died in the furnace at the house on 40th Street, and since it was July, all we had to do was shut the vents and wait till October. Anyway, the possum's been there a week already, smell greatly diminished by now; see no immediate need, but OK. Done.
• Watch the DMV workers on their daily 10 a.m. constitutional walk during their coffee break, as they walk past the house. Today, as I watered the landscaping, I overheard one woman tell her friend, just as they passed by, that there are many things she doesn't tell her husband. "Like what?" I wanted to ask, but kept my mouth shut.
• Ah! Found the DMTC checkbook register! It fell on the floor - never thought to look there for it. Too much trouble to pick it up, though. If we'd let checks 'bounce', I wouldn't have to bend over so far....
• Fence is progressively toppling over in the back yard. Where is Michael Campbell when you need him? (he did the repair on that fence in the front yard in 2004)
• What are those workers digging for, under the pavement, down the alley? Oh! Looks like sewer trouble!
• Eat lunch at 'Subway': 21st & J Street. Been eating lunch there nearly every work day since 1997. Reminisce about the good old days - Monica Lewinsky and all.
• Do some work.
• Best part of day; hopping around with beautiful women over at Pepper's, T & Th. Worst part of day; hopping around with beautiful women over at Pepper's, T & Th.
• Drive to Davis.
• Learn lyrics to "Oklahoma!" I remember climbing the highest point in Oklahoma once, with W. & J. Fresh air; good time, high on Black Mesa in the Panhandle, right next to the NM border! Met the two teenage rancher women, since we were crossing their land. One was wearing a turban (she had just come out from the shower), and she had a mouth full of chewing tobacco. Yum!
• Flinging garbage out of DMTC's New Theater. For such pretty people, we generate the foulest stuff, sometimes.
• Bring some DMTC historic memorabilia, and other detritus, home for safekeeping.
• Shred more and more of K.'s paper. Cloudy keeps me company; it's good master-rabbit bonding time.
• Throw crap away.
• Don't forget the nightly walk for Sparky; good master-canine bonding time.

Rumsfeld's Rules

I've been racking my brain trying to remember where I saw Rumsfeld's Rules on bureaucratic warfare before. I believe I have his book on the subject, written in the 70's, somewhere. In any event, here is a nice summary for today's people in the Pentagon who want to derail, injure, and otherwise neuter Old Man Rumsfeld.

"A Chorus Line", And Mara Davi

Via Ray Fisher, meet the Broadway-revival cast of "A Chorus Line", and our very-own Mara Davi (Maggie)!

Big Earthquake Near Tonga

But the magnitude 8.0 quake has, so far, apparently produced only a small tsunami.

Gettin' On

Sparky is beginning to suffer from cataracts, and also from a bit of deafness. Several nights ago, I took Sparky out for his customary nightly walk, and I made a small detour to look in a garbage can. Sparky lost track of where I was, and walked past me on his way back to the house. I approached from behind and called him, but he couldn't tell where I was. He thought I was in front of him, and with ears perked at attention, he began running back to the house to meet me, with me lamely trying to catch up to him.

Poor baby. According to the age chart for dogs, he's about 68 in human terms.

Iraq, Fort Irwin Style

Just over the blimp-topped mountain from I-15, the LA/Las Vegas highway, sits Fort Irwin, where Hollywood and the military have put together a great simulation of the problems involved in tamping down the guerilla insurgency in Iraq:

Out here, 150 miles northeast of Los Angeles, units of the 10th Mountain Division from Fort Drum, N.Y., are among the latest war-bound troops who have gone through three weeks of training that introduce them to the harsh episodes that characterize the American experience in Iraq.

In a 1,000-square-mile region on the edge of Death Valley, Arab-Americans, many of them from the Iraqi expatriate community in San Diego, populate a group of mock villages resembling their counterparts in Iraq. American soldiers at forward operating bases nearby face insurgent uprisings, suicide bombings and even staged beheadings in underground tunnels. Recently, the soldiers here, like their counterparts in Iraq, have been confronted with Sunni-Shiite riots. At one village, a secret guerrilla revolt is in the works.

With actors and stuntmen on loan from Hollywood, American generals have recast the training ground at Fort Irwin so effectively as a simulation of conditions in Iraq and Afghanistan over the past 20 months that some soldiers have left with battle fatigue and others have had their orders for deployment to the war zones canceled. In at least one case, a soldier's career was ended for unnecessarily "killing" civilians.

"We would rather you got killed here than in Iraq," said Maj. John Clearwater, a veteran of the Special Forces who works at the training center.

The troops who come here are at the heart of a vast shift in American war-fighting strategy, a multibillion-dollar effort to remodel the Army on the fly. Here, the Army is relearning how to fight, shifting from its historic emphasis on big army-to-army battles to the more subtle tactics of defeating a guerrilla insurgency.

The changes in the Army's emphasis are among the most far-reaching since World War II, all being carried out at top speed, while the Iraqi insurgency continues undiminished and political support for the war ebbs at home.

American commanders say publicly that they still believe they can win the war, especially now with a more coherent strategy to combat the insurgency and train their soldiers to fight it.

The lack of such planning — indeed, the refusal in the first months after the invasion to acknowledge the presence of the insurgency — is at the heart of the criticism leveled recently at Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld by six former generals.

Beneath the public veneer, some American officers say they believe that public support for the war will probably run out before the changes will begin to make a major difference. The more probable chain of events, they say, is a steady drawdown of American forces from Iraq, long before the insurgency is defeated.

For the first time in more than 20 years, military planners are revising the Army's counterinsurgency manual, adding emphasis on nation-building and peacekeeping — subjects once belittled by the Bush administration.

At the Army's Command and General Staff College in Fort Leavenworth, Kan., officers are being required for the first time to complete a course in counterinsurgency. In Iraq, American officers entering the country are now required to spend their first week at the sprawling military base at Taji, on the northwestern edge of Baghdad, attending a crash course in counterinsurgency.

Junior officers are being encouraged to take greater initiative to adjust to local circumstances. An old military tradition of chronicling the lessons learned on the front and passing them on to other units has found a vital new outlet in password-protected Internet sites where platoon commanders and more senior officers can exchange combat experiences.

The aim is to see that any new techniques adopted by the insurgents, especially in mounting the roadside bombing attacks that accounted for more than half of all American casualties in Iraq, are made known to all units as quickly as possible, often within 24 hours.

One third of the American troops now stationed in Iraq have been through the course here, and entire brigades — each with 4,000 soldiers, sometimes more — are processed through here every month. But it is still unclear how much effect the new training is having in the field.

Indeed, even as the new training strategy moves forward, American units are substantially withdrawing from Iraq's streets. With the country sliding closer to civil war, Iraqi military units, many of them of uncertain quality, are now taking the leading combat role in nearly half of Iraq's territory.

The Illuminati Did It

K. pulled me aside and showed me his big new book that purports to show the Illuminati caused 9/11. Looking at the book, I realized that its true value lay in assembling and articulating all the doubts and illogical leaps of faith involved in believing everything we've been told about 9/11. There is so much we don't know, even five years later. You don't have to flail in the darkness at the Illuminati to want answers. I might give the book a peek.

Talking about portents, June 6, 2006 approaches:

But Kerry Noble, a Texas businessman whose life has changed dramatically since the days he was second in command of a paramilitary religious group known as the Covenant, the Sword and the Arm of the Lord, said June 6 carries much significance to fringe groups that may be looking to make a statement.

"Numbers are important in the movement," Noble said. "So anything you could interpret as being symbolic would be even more important. So a symbolic date like June 6 of this year, being 666, would have the equivalence of a 9/11 date or an April 19 date."

More On Steve Colbert

Finally took a look at the videos (Part 1 and Part 2) of Colbert's presentation at the National White House Correspondent's Dinner. Just awesome! Battered Bush, but even more so, just hammered the lickspittle White House press corps! Satire is a hard thing. The quiet in the big hall showed just how well Colbert did and just how pissed off everyone was.

More reaction and commentary from The Moderate Voice. and Steve Gilliard. Plus, courtesy of a *friend*, here is a transcript.

Hooray for Steve Colbert!

Just Not Worth The Trouble

Much lower prices for electronics has had a side effect in Scotland: much lower burglary rates:

Housebreakings, as the crime is called in Scotland, recorded by the police have halved in the last ten years - from 71,995 in 1995-6 to 34,959 in 2004-5.

... A television that costs £300 now would have cost £870 in real terms in 1995 and £1,122 in 1985.

The biggest price drops have been witnessed in film-playing machines. In the 1980s, a Betamax cost the equivalent of £967 in today's money, while in the Nineties a VHS cost £406. Now DVD players are available in supermarkets for as little as £29.99. Esure says there has been a 32 per cent decrease in the frequency of burglary claims in Scotland over three years.

... Dr Malcolm Cook, forensic psychologist at Abertay University, said the economics of crime had turned against housebreaking.

"When something is stolen and sold on, the seller can never recover the full value of the property," he said. "Most people prefer to steal from shops. Despite their relatively sophisticated electronic surveillance, the ability to outwit the surveillance is common knowledge amongst those who commit that type of crime.

"It is more efficient to go up to someone in the street and threaten them for their mobile phone. It is quicker, and your chances of success are higher. The falling value of electrical goods means housebreaking no longer makes sense. Even the simplest of criminal minds will carry out a risk-benefit analysis. Breaking into houses is not trivial and there is no guarantee you will get quality goods. It's a bit like gambling. If you break into a house, the forensic footprint you leave makes it extremely likely that you will get caught.

Slow Publishing Day

Blogger is completely bogged down.

Quack -ack -ack -ack

My sister likes to send trivia by E-Mail. Today, she informs me that duck quacks produce no echo, and no one knows why. Several metal pillars in DMTC's New Theater produce a really interesting echo. I sense an experiment coming on......

Exasperating Bicyclists

I love riding bicycles, but hate stopping at stop signs, or feeling constrained by one-way signs. Other riders feel the same way. It can cause problems.

Last night, I approached I Street, heading north on 21st Street. I prepared to make the left turn there, and I had the green light. Nevertheless, two bicyclists appeared out of the darkness, heading east, the wrong way on I Street, and they went right through the light. I had to come to a screeching halt to avoid hitting them. Interestingly, after everyone stopped, they asked me if I was all right. Very solicitous roadkill! Very polite! Quite exasperating!

The Pleasure of Cows

As pets.

"Hot Feet" Opens In New York

The new Earth, Wind and Fire musical, starring Vivian Nixon. Looks like fun!

Speaking 'Truthiness' To Power

This Correspondents Dinner thing must have been a hoot:

A blistering comedy “tribute” to President Bush by Comedy Central’s faux talk show host Stephen Colbert at the White House Correspondent Dinner Saturday night left George and Laura Bush unsmiling at its close.

... Colbert, who spoke in the guise of his talk show character, who ostensibly supports the president strongly, urged Bush to ignore his low approval ratings, saying they were based on reality, “and reality has a well-known liberal bias.”

He attacked those in the press who claim that the shake-up at the White House was merely re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. “This administration is soaring, not sinking,” he said. “If anything, they are re-arranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg.”

Colbert told Bush he could end the problem of protests by retired generals by refusing to let them retire. He compared Bush to Rocky Balboa in the “Rocky” movies, always getting punched in the face—“and Apollo Creed is everything else in the world.”

Turning to the war, he declared, "I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq."

He noted former Ambassador Joseph Wilson in the crowd, just three tables away from Karl Rove, and that he had brought " Valerie Plame." Then, worried that he had named her, he corrected himself, as Bush aides might do, "Uh, I mean... he brought Joseph Wilson's wife." He might have "dodged the bullet," he said, as prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald wasn't there.

... Also lampooning the press, Colbert complained that he was “surrounded by the liberal media who are destroying this country, except for Fox News. Fox believes in presenting both sides of the story — the president’s side and the vice president’s side." In another slap at the news channel, he said: "I give people the truth, unfiltered by rational argument. I call it the No Fact Zone. Fox News, I own the copyright on that term."

He also reflected on the alleged good old days for the president, when the media was still swallowing the WMD story.

Addressing the reporters, he said, "Let's review the rules. Here's how it works. The president makes decisions, he’s the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Put them through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know--fiction."

Happy Birthday, Ron Cisneros!

The most-knowledgable and most-beloved authority on musical theater in the entire Sacramento area celebrated his birthday with the DMTC family on Sunday night.

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to R-O-N
Happy birthday to you!

Ron Cisneros.

Annual Scottish Games In Woodland

Left: Tossing cabers to and fro.


Nice, warm Sunday afternoon in Woodland.


Skillful Celtic band Rathkeltair plays. An excellent band. I was going to buy their CD, but their credit card machine jammed and I had no cash.



A release of doves.



Final procession.

Spin

It's sure striking how a story is reported, and the effect that has on one's perception. These two stories appear to be correct, but one sounds much worse than the other. Regarding Rush Limbaugh, Salon reports:

Limbaugh Arrested in Fla. on Drug Charges

April 28,2006 WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. -- Rush Limbaugh was arrested Friday on prescription drug charges, law enforcement officials said.

Limbaugh turned himself in to authorities on a warrant issued by the state attorney's office, said agency spokeswoman Teri Barbera.

The conservative radio commentator came into the jail at about 4 p.m. with his attorney Roy Black and was released an hour later on $3,000 bail, Barbera said.

The warrant was for fraud to conceal information to obtain prescription, Barbera said.

But over at Rush-sympathizer Drudge, the headline is "Not Guilty" , and:

Settlement Agreement Ends State Investigation of Rush Limbaugh
Fri Apr 28 2006 18:59:55 ET

Palm Beach, FL – April 28, 2006 – In response to media and other inquiries, Roy Black, Rush Limbaugh’s attorney, released the following statement today concerning a settlement agreement with the Palm Beach County State Attorney’s Office to end the investigation of Mr. Limbaugh:

"I am pleased to announce that the State Attorney’s Office and Mr. Limbaugh have reached an agreement whereby a single count charge of doctor shopping filed today by the State Attorney will be dismissed in 18 months. As a primary condition of the dismissal, Mr. Limbaugh must continue to seek treatment from the doctor he has seen for the past two and one half years. This is the same doctor under whose care Mr. Limbaugh has remained free of his addiction without relapse.

“Mr. Limbaugh and I have maintained from the start that there was no doctor shopping, and we continue to hold this position. Accordingly, we filed today with the Court a plea of ‘Not Guilty’ to the charge filed by the State.

“As part of this agreement, Mr. Limbaugh also has agreed to make a $30,000 payment to the State of Florida to defray the public cost of the investigation. The agreement also provides that he must refrain from violating the law during this 18 months, must pay $30 per month for the cost of “supervision” and comply with other similar provisions of the agreement.

“Mr. Limbaugh had intended to remain in treatment. Thus, we believe the outcome for him personally will be much as if he had fought the charge and won.”

The actions taken today are as follows:

The State Attorney has filed a single charge of doctor shopping with the Court. The charge is being held in abeyance under the terms of an agreement between the State and Mr. Limbaugh.

Mr. Limbaugh has filed a plea of “Not Guilty” with the Court.

The formal agreement between Mr. Limbaugh and the State Attorney will be filed with the Court on Monday. The terms of the agreement are substantively as follows:

Ø Mr. Limbaugh will continue in treatment with the doctor he has seen for the past two and one half years.

Ø After Mr. Limbaugh completes an additional 18 months of treatment, the State Attorney has agreed to drop the charge.

Ø Mr. Limbaugh has agreed to make a $30,000 payment to the State of Florida to defray the public cost of the investigation.

No, No, No, Drama, Drama

Alex Powell and Andrew Lemons both agree, this song is .... well .... notable.

Can I Borrow Your Keys?

The stranger in the Del Taco parking lot seemed pretty sheepish. He began a long-winded explanation, telling me how he had locked his car keys in his car, but the locks really weren't keyed properly, so any thin key would suffice to open the door, and so, to make a long story short, could he borrow my car keys?

Hmmmmm - sounded implausible. Plus, I was unusually vulnerable, since I was carrying several thousands of DMTC dollars with me, as I prepared to make a bank deposit, in my capacity as DMTC Treasurer.

So - sure! Why not? I handed over my key chain, he opened his car and thanked me profusely, and we both went our separate ways.

Something Went Boom

April 4th, near San Clemente Island, but the Navy denies all:

A group of local scientists has uncovered some clues to the source of a mysterious disturbance that rattled San Diego County on the morning of April 4, shaking windows, doors and bookcases from the coast to the mountains.

The scientists, based at Scripps Institution of Oceanography in La Jolla, say the disturbance was caused by a sound wave that started over the ocean and petered out over the Imperial County desert. Using data from more than two dozen seismometers, they traced its likely origin to a spot roughly 120 miles off the San Diego coast.

That spot is in the general vicinity of Warning Area 291, a huge swath of ocean used for military training exercises. The Navy operates a live-fire range on San Clemente Island, which is within Warning Area 291 and sits about 65 miles from Mission Bay.

The researchers also have charted dozens of similar, if less dramatic, incidents that seem to have originated in the same general area of the ocean. They aren't sure what caused any of them.

Peter Shearer, a Scripps professor involved in the research, has no idea whether the April 4 disturbance was natural or made by humans. “I would guess it's either an explosion that somebody hasn't told us about or it could have been a meteor coming into the atmosphere,” he said. “But it was certainly a big disturbance in the atmosphere.”

Steve Fiebing, a Coronado-based Navy spokesman, said the live-fire range on San Clemente Island was inactive April 4. He also said there was no Navy or Marine Corps flight activity in Warning Area 291 on that day that would have caused a sonic boom or a countywide tremor.

The area, also known in military circles as Whiskey 291, covers 1 million square miles and is off-limits to civilian planes and ships, Fiebing said. “There was no unusual training that would have caused anything close to what people here felt,” he said.

Cmdr. William Fenick, another local Navy spokesman, said no San Diego-based warships were conducting operations in Warning Area 291 that day. “We don't know at this time where this earthquakelike sensation came from,” Fenick said.

Bill Kristol on the Colbert Report

Neocon wilts upon exposure to knowing, intelligent, savage humor.

Counseling Racket in Washington State

No qualifications? No problem!:

To be a manicurist in the state of Washington, you must take 600 hours of training and pass both a written exam and a skills demonstration. To cut hair, you need 1,000 hours of training and the two tests.

But to be a registered counselor, someone who will help guide troubled clients through some of their most difficult life challenges, you need take only a four-hour AIDS-awareness class. That's it — that and a $40 registration fee. You don't even need a high-school diploma. That sounds like an invitation for trouble — and it is.

... Washington legislators had good intentions when they created the registered-counselor credential nearly 20 years ago. Reports of sexual abuse and brainwashing by a fringe counseling group in Seattle spurred lawmakers to try to corral the burgeoning, unregulated practice of counseling. But instead, they flung open the gates.

The Legislature enacted exacting standards for mental-health counselors and for marriage and family therapists, requiring each to have a master's degree and thousands of hours of clinical training. But fearing they would put less-educated counselors out of work, lawmakers created a classification called "registered counselor," with minimal requirements.

... Joanne Brekke, the former state representative who spearheaded the registered-counselor law in 1987, said she envisioned the credential as a way to regulate already-practicing counselors. She never expected her bill would instead create a licensing expressway, welcoming thousands with unproven skills and unknown motives. "Our goal was to protect counseling clients from abuse," Brekke said. "What has happened since, now that may be a different story."

... "Counseling was the perfect setting for him," she said. "He was a predator and the prey just walked through the door."

Rumors

I certainly hope this Capitol Hill drug and sex scandal has legs. It would be great if the CIA's Porter Goss is implicated. Goss was sent to the CIA to impose a thuggish discipline over an educated, restive, and abused staff there, and it would be his comeuppance. And the central figure, Brent Wilkes, is heavily involved with John Doolittle's various congressional campaigns. Republicans all, and corrupt to the core!

"You May Have Already Won!" - John Hancock Does Damage Control

Not a winner? Say it ain't so, John!:

The California Channel, which broadcasts Legislative meetings on cable TV, on Wednesday became the second local entity to reveal that it is the victim of the British International Lottery scam.

People have received letters telling them they won $95,000 - and that to receive their winnings, they must first cash an enclosed check for $2,998 that appears to be from the California Channel.

... "My goal is to get this posted on the Internet, so people will know that this is a scam," said John Hancock, president of the nonprofit, California Channel.

Too bad about that scam. Sad - all those ripped-off people. No use feeling glum, though. In the meanwhile, I've WON 2.5 million pounds, a whole lot more than $95,000, and it doesn't involve the California Channel at all, so it must be legit!:

BRITISH AMERICAN ONLINE LOTTERY COMMISSION
CUSTOMER SERVICE DEPT.
*******************************************
REGENT'S PARK,LONDON NW1 4NS,UNITED KINGDOM
*******************************************
Ref: BAOL/19823108/05/DON
Batch: 23/012/4774

Attn: winner

We are pleased to announce to you the draw of the British American Online Lottery International programs held on the 4th of April 2006 (04/04/2006) in London. Your e-mail address attached to the following numbers listed below:

Ticket number: 2314759773 914
Serial Number: 19445/02
Drew the Lucky Numbers: 04-07-50-16-20-01

The above listed numbers subsequently make's you one of the bona fide winner of the lottery promo in the 2nd category. You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of GBP£ 2,500,000.00 (Two Million, Five Hundred Thousand, British Pounds) in cash credited to file BAOL/19823108/05/DON.

Hole-In-One

Passing strange encounter with the Seattle Police:

A highly improbable shot left an officer's bullet in the cylinder of a gunman's revolver, and police say it's a pretty clear sign that the officers who shot the man faced a deadly threat.

"Physically, it is impossible to conclude anything other than the fact the suspect was pointing directly at the officers," Deputy Chief Clark Kimerer said Wednesday, adding, "I've not seen anything quite like that in my 24 years."

At Boondocks Edge, It'll Be Empty and Bankrupt

Rio Rancho, NM, plans some kind of fantasy district:

"So much of what we're trying to do will be focused on entertainment. It'll be restaurants. It'll be movie theaters. It'll be nightclubs. It'll be the kind of things that make it a true destination spot," said Palenick.

Phil Angelides For Governor

Angelide's been State Treasurer for some time now, and a real estate developer as well. He understands how the state works. I'm worried that he might be a bit too rigid or unimaginative, but better that than Steve Westly's misplaced, enamored response to Arnold Schwarzenegger. And Angelides understands that it's time to make investments in the state's infrastructure rather than focus just on budget-balancing. So, go Phil!

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Fun article about how higher gasoline prices make both Democrats and Republicans just plain stupid.

Foreclosures Up

Realty Trac says foreclosures are up, particularly in Georgia, Colorado, and Indiana:

“The sharp increase in foreclosures in Q1 continues a steady upward trend that we’ve observed since the beginning of last year,” said James J. Saccacio, chief executive officer of RealtyTrac. “Foreclosures have now increased in four consecutive quarters and are on track to go above 1.2 million in 2006, which would push the nation’s annual foreclosure rate to more than 1 percent of U.S. households.”

Saccacio noted that foreclosures actually dipped 13 percent from February to March, evidence that the nation’s foreclosure rate could be leveling off after the long run-up.

Despite the potential good news in the levelling off, Hilzoy at Obsidian Wings sees trouble ahead:

So, to summarize: we have an economy that's incredibly dependent on consumers' ability to acquire mortgage debt. We have consumers who are increasingly indebted. Moreover, their debts are much more likely than a few years ago to take this incredibly risky form: low payments for a few years, and then a huge increase in payments for the next few decades. People who would not assume these risks if they were prudent are doing so. If the housing market keeps soaring, they'll be fine; if not, they'll be screwed.

I certainly hope it all works out! My tuchus is on the line too!

Taking Aim At MP3 Streaming

Dianne Feinstein decides to torpedo MP3 streaming by folks like ShoutCast Internet radio.

Celebrity Statues

Apart from places like the Hollywood Walk of Fame, you don't find that many celebrity statues in public places in the U.S. Yet, Australian celebrities do get this honor:

Meanwhile, back home in Australia, it has been revealed that Kylie is set to be the fifth and final Australian 'legend' of the entertainment industry to be immortalised in the form of a larger-than-life bronze statue. The statue will stand alongside likenesses of Graham Kennedy, John Farnham, Dame Nellie Melba and Dame Edna Everage, the first two of which will be unveiled this Saturday night at a gala event at Waterfront City at Docklands.

Celebrities seem to occupy a more important, culturally-significant place in Australian public life than they do in U.S. public life.

Chart of Bush's Approval Rating

Over at Old Hippie's Groovy Blog, where folks learn from history, in order not to repeat it.

Dr. Frank Is Running Again!

I didn't realize until I got the Democratic primary ballot tonight in the mail that Dr. Frank Macaluso, Jr., from Visalia, is running for Governor again. Dr. Macaluso was one of the 135 candidates running for Governor in the 2003 California Gubernatorial Recall campaign. Dr. Macaluso is positioning himself as the budget-conscious Democratic choice in 2006. Certainly keep him in mind when Election Day comes in June!

"Oklahoma!" Callbacks

Lining up all the (rare and unusual) suspects (left to right: Ryan Favorite, Laura Woodruff, Clare Lawrence, Brennen Cull, Jill Wright, and Ryan Adame).

I'm Not A Boomer

I'm not!:

It's been inevitable for a while, I guess, that the Youth Culture of the baby boom generation would ripen, mellow, and then rot, despite the atypical abilities of a few Mick Jaggers to sell their Sympathy for the Devil for eternal muscle tone and dancing feet.

... But far worse than that scene is the prospect of hearing the rebellious and hormone-driven songs of one's youth reformatted for the different rigors of old age. Will hip-replacement ads for women soon feature a soothing version of Jimi Hendrix's "Foxy Lady"? Is it a matter of time until Senior Mall Walks are spurred on by Easy Listening takes on the MC5's "Kick Out the Jams"?

... But when a young friend recently reminded me that I was listening to music recorded before she was born, I could only respond that her generation's remakes didn't sound any better than the originals.

I remain haunted by the prospect of being wheeled into Snack Time at the Assisted Living Center to the strains of "Free Bird." I hope I have the energy to raise a fist in protest.

Pink Toupee Collective

(Left) Hodge has trouble with his cutlery and is aided by the denizens of Le Carnaval des Imbéciles. From left to right: Linda Melvin as Whippa, The Beast Tamer; Jane Hastings as Sadie the Cotton Candy Lady; Jeff Madow as Hodge, The Sword of Swords; William Fuller as Aviáni Le Mystérieux; and Renee Gromacki as TikiTaka The Bird Lady. (Photography by Jack Hastings)


Dada? Dada? In performance? This looks like it might be fun:

The Pink Toupee Collective presents an original musical/theatrical/performance art piece entitled Miss Fortune and the Carnival of Fools, opening Friday, April 28, 2006 at “The Space” at California Stage. The work explores themes of nonconformity and the search for identity in our increasingly homogenized and media-dominated culture. Miss Fortune and the Carnival of Fools takes as its inspiration ideas from the Fluxus Movement in art which flourished from the early sixties to the mid-seventies. Fluxus (“a flow”) was known for its Dadaist leanings and its emphasis on artistic exploration and socio-political activism expressed through performance art pieces known as “Aktions.”

They're Not Illegal, Pete

They're incentives. Incentives for what, who can say, but if you had meant them for exploration and investment, you should have made that clear years ago:

WASHINGTON - With gasoline topping $3 a gallon, the Senate Energy Committee chairman's patience with oil companies has finally worn thin.

Sen. Pete Domenici, upset that oil companies are spending big profits on big payments for executives instead of exploration and investment, says he will back repealing $2 billion in tax incentives for the industry, authorizing tougher fuel economy standards and expanding federal authority to investigate price gouging.

"We're not going to let them get away with any kind of illegal activity," the Albuquerque Republican said.

Barely Made It Across In Time

Minutemen or not, automatic citizenship for the baby:

TUCSON, Ariz. (AP) -- An 18-year-old woman who gave birth to a baby girl in the desert used nail clippers to cut her baby's umbilical cord before being rescued by U.S. Border Patrol agents, authorities said Wednesday.

The woman was spotted Monday night by a Border Patrol helicopter pilot about 25 miles north of Sasabe, said Ron Bellavia, commander of the Border Patrol's search, trauma and rescue operations in the agency's Tucson sector.

The woman, an apparent illegal immigrant identified as Maria Perez Perez, was with two other people, and all appeared in distress, agents said.

"GIVE IT A CHANCE!"

So sayeth the Loud, Opinionated Queen, regarding "Lestat", the recently-opened gay vampire musical:

Expectations had been low after a critically savaged trial run in San Francisco. History was also against "Lestat" after the failure of two previous vampire musicals, "Dance of the Vampires" in 2002 and "Dracula, the Musical" in 2004.

In a review headlined "Vampires, the musical kiss of death," The Washington Post's Peter Marks said the fixation with singing vampires had to stop. "Give the bloodsucker a ballad, and it's his show that joins the walking dead."

My Friend, The Deodorant Stick

The corrosion of MySpace begins....

One-Man Show

In the 1950's, in American industry, there was a job description called "calculator." Calculators were generally young, poorly-paid women with some mathematical training, who would perform tedious arithmetical calculations for teams of engineers.

The advent of the electronic computer was seen as a tremendous leap forward. The computer was said to be capable of doing the work of a "stadium full of calculators."

It soon became clear that computers were vulnerable to error. Their machinations were only as good as the programs and the people used to run them. They could do the work of a stadium full of calculators, but they could make more mistakes than a stadium full of calculators ever could.

Jumping forward, I remember a computer class I took in the spring of 1975. I was calculating the trajectory of motorcycle daredevil Evel Knievel over a fanciful representation of the Snake River Canyon, using the college mainframe computer. Instead of calculating a nice parabola over the canyon, however, I ended up instead with two interlocked disjoint arcs. "Congratulations, you've made it across the Canyon!" the printed text mockingly informed me. Disgusted, I threw the computer output away, only to find, later that evening, the same computer output hung on the dorm room wall of one of my best college friends, who thought it hysterical. Computer errors might be inevitable, but in any event, they could certainly be entertaining!

Jumping forward, on Saturday, April 22, 2006, there was a small glitch regarding the eight pages of cast biographies included in DMTC's "Wizard of Oz" program. All audience members received this program. No biographies were included, however, and instead of pictures of the cast, there were eight pages of a grinning Steve Isaacson, posing with a can of Diet Coke.....

Mayor Bloomberg

Is an ass:

A judge has ruled that use of the Internet is no more goofing off on the job than reading a newspaper or making a brief personal phone call.

"It should be observed that the Internet has become the modern equivalent of a telephone or a daily newspaper, providing a combination of communication and information that most employees use as frequently in their personal lives as for their work," Administrative Law Judge John Spooner said.

Spooner gave the lightest of all possible punishments to a New York City worker who was accused of disregarding warnings to stay off the Internet at work. The 14-year veteran of the Department of Education used his office computer to visit news and travel Web sites.

... Meanwhile, Mayor Michael Bloomberg -- a billionaire who knows what it is to put in a full day -- is upset with the judge's ruling. Mayor Bloomberg said city employees are working for the taxpayers, who expect people to work. He said spending hours surfing the Internet at your work desk is inappropriate.

Ain't It The Truth!

The Foxification of the press corps:

Catrett says being in the Washington press corps has changed since he started at CNN eight years ago and got into broadcast journalism 20 years ago.

"In the briefings and the presidential news conferences, I'm always thinking, 'Where's the follow-up? Where's the follow-up?' " Reporters are too concerned about access, worried about angering an important politician, he says.

"When I came into this business, people weren't afraid to insult somebody in power," he says.

Eastern New Mexico - Where To Now, Brown Cow?

The aquifer that sustains eastern New Mexico agriculture is thinning out (actually as expected, in line with old predictions that by mid-century it would be in perilous shape). If the aquifer goes, what happens next? Dust Bowl II, except this time without the dust? Depopulation, like the Dakotas have seen recently? Ghost towns of the high plains? What a strange future awaits!:

... Such was the case with a recent article from the Portales News-Tribune, located in eastern New Mexico's Roosevelt County, home of 80,000 dairy cattle. Hydro-geologist Amy Ewing reported at a public meeting (attended by exactly nine people) that the Ogallala Aquifer, upon which the area depends for its water, will be at an all-time low by 2020. Over the last 60 years, reported Ewing, the water table has dropped from about 18 feet below ground to 110 feet. When the saturation thickness of the aquifer's water (the amount of water from the aquifer's bottom to its top) reaches 30 feet, it becomes essentially undrinkable. According to Portales Mayor Orlando Ortega, Jr., "there are already areas in [Roosevelt] county where the saturation thickness ... is less than 40 feet." Ewing concluded by saying, "water levels are falling, and they are not going back up."

Who's the culprit? Ewing said irrigation agriculture (this includes dairies and the neighboring cheese plant) is responsible for most of the area's water usage. So that means the dairy industry's growth will be curtailed and forced to conserve water, right? Not according to the News-Tribune story. There are no plans at present to require irrigation farmers to conserve water or to even meter how much they use. If conservation is mandated, it will apparently fall on the backs of homeowners and non-agricultural businesses. The issue was summed up Irene Jones, a member of a Roosevelt County farming family: "The bottom line is the water will run out .... The land is not sustainable as cropland."

Revolution Imposed From Outside

Here is a pertinent historical analogy, comparing the Iraq War with Napoleon's conquests in Europe. In both cases, democratization was imposed from outside, and in both cases, for similar reasons, failure resulted:

But the Exodus story -- like that of the American Puritan migration and the civil-rights movement which it inspired -- shows us that oppressed people struggle to transform themselves and embark on their journey out of bondage with help only from God's “mighty hand and outstretched arm.” These are popular, bottom-up struggles, fraught with self-doubt and corruption but redeemed by indigenous spiritual and political leadership and the courage of countless ordinary people. No foreign army invaded Egypt to set off the Exodus, or England to loose the Puritan migration, or the American South to begin the civil-rights movement. (The federal marshals and National Guard troops in the South came long after the movement was well underway, and they were Americans.) And leaders such as Moses, John Winthrop, and Martin Luther King, Jr. came from the people they led. Bush is no Iraqi Moses, Dick Cheney no Aaron, Donald Rumsfeld no Joshua, Condoleezza Rice no Miriam.

A better model than the Exodus for Brooks’ sophistical exegesis of the Iraq War is Napoleon. Claiming the mantle of the French Revolution, he tried to use the French army to liberate other peoples who weren't ready to liberate themselves. Napoleon’s misappropriation of France’s already-fraught revolution resembles the Bush administration's use of the American republican tradition to justify its crusade to spread democracy to the Middle East. Brooks' conflation of Bush's crusade and American "national greatness" with the Hebraic covenantal tradition and its Puritan and American-revolutionary emulations is even more gross a miscarriage of any American civic-republican mission than Napoleon’s vision was of the France's revolution.

... If Berman, Krauthammer, Brooks, Beinart and other philo-tyrannical minds aren't going to keep on shouting triumphally about democracy amid the fog of war they helped to create, let them join Fukuyama in an exodus off the stage, rather than standing just inside the exit, bidding him good riddance. Let them stop deflecting their political and moral discomfort -- as some on the left have done, too -- into attacks on the few who’ve demonstrated some intellectual honesty amid so much intellectual disgrace.

The Chinese Rule, And We'd Better Get Used To It

Via Ray Fisher, comes this news story about just how little weight we carry with the Chinese. Just like the Americans swept the British out of financial power in the 20th Century, the Chinese seem set to do to us in the 21st, unless we stop destroying our manufacturing base, the ultimate source of economic power in an industrialized economy. Nationalized health care would help, removing a big monkey off the back of auto manufacturers, for example, and maybe even rein in health costs for the entire U.S. economy, but fat chance that happening until we actually destroy both Ford and GM in our current ideological pursuit of shrinking the national government until it can be "drowned in a bathtub."

Once again, President Bush had a difficult time wresting concessions from Chinese President Hu Jintao. And for good reason. Bush may be the leader of the world's only superpower, but when he talks to the Chinese, it's like discussing an overdue loan with his banker. There's not much leverage.

... At each of those meetings, the list of U.S. trade demands has been the same: China must stop unfairly depressing the value of its currency to gain trade advantages; it must halt rampant copyright piracy that is costing American companies billions of dollars in lost sales, and it must open its markets wider to U.S. exports.

The urgency of those demands has grown as America's trade deficit with China has soared; the trade imbalance hit another all-time high last year of $202 billion. That deficit, which represented more than one-fourth of America's record imbalance with the world in 2005, has sparked growing unrest on Capitol Hill and prompted a spate of bills to penalize China unless it halts trade practices that critics blame for contributing to the loss of nearly 3 million manufacturing jobs since Bush took office in 2001.

... But the blunt reality is that the Bush administration has little leverage to make China do more. Since China joined the World Trade Organization in 2001, the United States can no longer threaten to impose unilateral sanctions as the Clinton administration threatened to do in the mid-1990s in a copyright piracy fight of that era.

... The deficits have gotten so huge, that China's holdings have ballooned. China is now the second largest holder of U.S. government debt, with $265.2 billion in Treasury securities, and its total foreign reserves have just surpassed Japan's to become the largest in the world.

The willingness of the Chinese to hold that debt has helped to keep U.S. interest rates low, which has been a boon to American home buyers and other borrowers. But if for some reason the Chinese suddenly reversed policy and started dumping U.S. assets in favor of parking their reserves in other countries, that could have a serious impact on the U.S. economy by sending U.S. interest rates up sharply.

"Oklahoma!" Auditions

Went to Monday's audition. It was fun, although, because they're not doing any readings until Wednesday call-backs (just dance and singing Sunday and Monday nights), it lacked a bit of the buzz that builds after prolonged exposure to the theater crowd trying their best. These people, after all, know how to please! Sometimes the buzz gets overwhelming, and you have to retreat to places where inarticulate cave men grunt and scratch, in order to recover your equilibrium. In contrast, after tonight's efforts, we retreated to Baker's Square, where grunting and scratching seemed superfluous.

Musicals As Hell

This snippet from a review of "Cabaret" caught my eye:

We all see the same grinning, thumbs-in-suspenders hell onstage. We all witness the same grueling, psychotic meltdowns that afflict speakers mid-sentence, making them inhale deeply, turn to no one in particular and wail with embarrassing candor about their loneliness, all because an invisible piano told them to do it.

Sounds like it is time to reprint what Wallace Shawn once said in an interview with the New York Times Magazine (January 11, 2004):

Q. Do you follow Broadway theater?

A. No. I don't see that many plays, and for me, musicals are rarely pleasing. I feel the actors are being put through a kind of nightmarish labor. They're like animals being forced to pull heavy carts of vegetables at incredible speeds.

Q. Can't you make an exception for "Oklahoma" or "South Pacific"?

A. I saw "South Pacific" as a child and thought it was terrifying.

Ben And Jerry's Diss The Irish

And who says what Americans don't know about history won't hurt them?:

Ice cream makers Ben & Jerry's have apologized for causing offence by calling a new flavor "Black & Tan" ... "Any reference on our part to the British Army unit was absolutely unintentional and no ill-will was ever intended," said a Ben & Jerry's spokesman. "Ben & Jerry's was built on the philosophies of peace and love," he added.

The Black and Tans, so-called because of their two-tone uniforms, were recruited in the early 1920s to bolster the ranks of the police force in Ireland as anti-British sentiment grew. They quickly gained a reputation for brutality and mention of the militia still arouses strong feelings in Ireland.

"I can't believe that Ben & Jerry's would be so insensitive to call an ice cream such a name and to launch it as a celebration of Irishness ... it's an insult!" wrote one blogger on www.junkfoodblog.com.

...Ben & Jerry's, a unit of Anglo-Dutch consumer goods giant Unilever Plc, prides itself on its commitment to friendly business. Its mission statement includes a pledge to show "a deep respect for human beings inside and outside our company and for the communities in which they live."

"Wizard Of Oz" - First Sunday Afternoon

Very impressive show! Excellent performances - Buffee Gillihan as the 'Wicked Witch,' Kevin Caravalho as the 'Scarecrow,' and Alissa Steiner as 'Dorothy' are just a few! I have very few complaints. Which is all the more remarkable when I remember watching a portion of the rehearsal, just a few days ago. Technical issues were still causing trouble then, and most of those seem to have been ironed out. Hard work, paying off!

"Thunder Strike"

Sledgehammer across the forehead. Repeat till dawn (Loss: about $1,360.00).

Loud Opinionated Queen Speaks Up

As I perused the selection at Tower Records, one person was hard to escape: an opinionated, earring-bedecked man in his 60's, with a quintessential queen-like manner. He decided to purchase the "Brokeback Mountain" DVD, and, by virtue of his loud, one-sided discussions with the store clerk, his decision was made known to all - I'm sure even the head-banging punkers listening to music samples on the store-provided headphones knew of it.

"That's quite a package you've assembled there," the man boomed longingly, as I bellied up to the checkout counter. Momentarily confused, I realized he meant my eclectic product selection, which included the movie "Rent", which is apparently now on DVD. The man then began expounding on the state of the movie musical.

He said "I haven't seen the movie 'Rent.' I saw the stage show, and I was sold!!! But I missed the movie." I said, "I don't think 'Rent' was in the theaters very long," and he began sipping the bitter venom in that injustice.

He continued, "They just stopped trying with movie musicals. I mean, the critics just don't give them a chance. I saw 'Phantom of the Opera, and I LOVED it, but the critics completely tore it apart. All because they made the Phantom handsome! Come on, people, it isn't a horror movie, IT'S A MUSICAL!!! When I was young, there were so many musicals. It was the Golden Age of movie musicals - 'Oklahoma!'; 'Sound of Music'; 'King and I'. Then they did 'Oliver!' in 1969, and then the 70's came, and THEN THEY JUST STOPPED TRYING!!!"

The clerk piped up, "there were some musicals in the 70's - 'Godspell'...," but the man was unpersuaded. Beginning again in the 60's, he continued "They gave Audrey Hepburn the role of Liza Doolittle in 'My Fair Lady', but what was that all about? - Julie Andrews OWNS that role!!! Then they started making mistakes - Barbara Streisand as 'Funny Girl': BOY WAS THAT EVER A MISTAKE! THEY STOPPED TRYING, and they hit a brick road (I think he meant a brick wall, but the stress of multitasking, talking and completing his credit card purchase, was leading him to start mixing metaphors).

Both him and the clerk wished me good luck as I left with my purchase, but I wondered later, what would the Loud Opinionated Queen be like, if inebriated? Or, say, in a court of law? Frankness can be funny: just ask my cousin, who took my recently-deceased nonagenarian aunt to the doctor, and she made the waiting room erupt in laughter, as she observed 'the girl behind the desk isn't doing any work at all!'

Everyone needs a Loud Opinionated Queen, if for nothing else, but to bounce decisions off of.