A Second Chance for Perverts

Try, try again:

For many pedophiles, it’s impossible to make ends meet. These sex criminals are often shunned both socially and professionally, making it extremely difficult for them to find any sort of gainful employment. But now a group called the GOP is trying to change all that: This amazing organization helps disgraced pedophiles rebuild their lives by getting them elected to political office.

If that doesn’t lift your spirits, we don’t know what will.

While most Americans are openly disgusted by pedophiles, the bighearted people over at the GOP seek to help them find decent, well-paying jobs where they can shape national policy. You only need to look at the amazing work the GOP is doing with pedophile Roy Moore in the special U.S. Senate election in Alabama to know that this organization is looking out for the people society tries to put in the margins.