Celebrity Blowback

This whole business of John McCain grabbing Britney and Paris and using them against their will as cruise missiles against Barack Obama can't come to any good. These women are very public people, with entire offices full of people devoted to making them look good and jealously fighting off image-stealers and wannabees, and just who the hell is John McCain anyway?

Apparently McCain is now declaiming that there is something wrong about Barack Obama being a global celebrity. But McCain is a celebrity too: maybe more of a national one, though. So, how do you make these distinctions stick?

I see trouble ahead. Is McCain declaring war against all celebrities? Or just young, white female celebrities? Celebrities, virtually by definition, are popular people. I fear the collateral damage in the war of Uncool vs. Cool. Turning Jack Nicholson's speech in "A Few Good Men" on its head, I'm sure Britney and Paris are thinking:

You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use then as the backbone of a life trying to defend something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you," and went on your way.

And what does the Evil Beet think? Following TMZ's lead:

As John McCain released a slew of campaign videos comparing Barack Obama to that irresponsible, crotch-flashing little trollop Paris Hilton, it turns out that Rick and Kathy Hilton donated a whopping $4600 to the McCain campaign earlier this year. Ahhh ha ha ha ha ha! Somehow I doubt they’ll be doing that again.

Britney Spears’ parents are less upset, as they’d just donated one of their grandchildren to help out around McCain’s office. They figure there’ll be plenty more where that one came from.

She's a human!