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Thursday, March 21, 2024

Music To Soothe The Savages


What’s the story with these things? Apparently they are self-sustaining surveillance devices placed in supermarket parking lots. Seemingly, they are supposed to keep overnight campers and various derelicts away from the supermarket by playing music day and night so hideous, so wretched, so mind-alteringly bad, that no sane person would want to remain nearby. For that purpose something from the death metal genre should suffice, or New Country, or various commercial jingles, but instead they play a lot of very pretty 19th-Century ballet music; Tchaikovsky, and the like. Instead of scaring people like me away, the devices seemingly lure people in. Let’s camp here! So, what gives? Have I misunderstood their purpose?

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