The Elderly Men Scatter

I don’t have a poker face. I was going through the Safeway self-checkout and the employee monitoring the area immediately asked, “What’s wrong?” ”This,” I replied, as I handed her what I found on the floor: a bundle of money and credit cards held together by a clip. Mortified, she said, “It must belong to that elderly man that was just here!” She ran out into the parking lot and started chasing down elderly men, who all scattered, not wanting to get blamed for whatever new nonsense was up.