Oh, Please Accept This Offer, Rush!

Here, Rush, I'll pay you to accept this ad campaign!:

The Westboro Baptist Church on Friday released two advertisements that they hope to air on Rush Limbaugh’s radio show, which is experiencing an exodus of advertisers after he called a Georgetown University law student a “slut” because she spoke in favor of religious institutions providing contraception coverage.

The first spot was a parody of comedian Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck” routine.

“If you wear a dress that is strapless with a brassiere that isn’t, you might be a slut,” an announcer says. “If you are an anchor bimbo for Fox News and your name is Kelly or Julie, you might be a slut.”

“If you think it’s OK to have sex with men outside the marriage bed, you might be a slut,” the commercial continues. “And if you fornicate your brains out and you think the government ought to pay to kill your baby, well, sounds like a slut to me — and God hates sluts.”

A second advertisement proclaims “America is doomed!”

“Your pastors are whores! Your priests rape boys! You murder babies by the millions! You fornicate your brains out!” the announcer exclaims in a reverberating voice similar to many monster truck commercials.

“Divorce! Remarriage! Adultery! Idolatry! You’ve all lifted up with one voice and said, ‘It’s OK to be gay.’ You only have one hope: obey or perish!”

...Premiere Networks public relations director Rachel Nelson has said that the ads would be dead on arrival.

“Premiere Networks is not considering an offer of sponsorship from Westboro Baptist Church,” she remarked.

...Drain charged that the media was hypocritical because they often use sex to sell products but then condemn Limbaugh for making moral judgements.

“Sometimes sluts call sluts ‘sluts’ but then gain sponsors, but Rush Limbaugh called a slut a ‘slut’ and his lost sponsors,” he noted. “Why do people want birth control in the main? It so that people can have sex whenever they want but they don’t have to worry about the ramifications. From a moral standpoint, that sounds like a slut to me.”