Liquidating Assets With Joe The Plumber

Left: At the storage unit, under the W-X Freeway.



M: We'd better get back soon after taking this load to my house. Seeing that it's out in the open, you don't have any assurance that that bookcase will still be here when we get back.

J: Talking about insurance, I talked to the agent about the accident I had on Fair Oaks last week. I told him in perfect detail about everything that happened, and how the other woman was faking her so-called injuries. Even the firemen who responded to the call agreed. They were saying, "why do we have to put her neck in a brace?" The insurance agent was impressed with my photographic memory. He told me: "You must be some kind of genius!" I have a photographic memory! And I have tested in the genius range, as I'm sure you have too!

M.: (Thinking to myself: This is my fate. In my life, I invariably succeed in finding exactly those people who are eager to tell me what geniuses they are. I suppose that's where the old Depression adage comes from: "If you're so smart, why ain't you rich?") So, you remember every detail about the accident?

J.: Everything. Well, almost everything. I can't remember her name.

M.: I'll take the bookcases.

J.: They are my gift to you! (sotto voce) Cheap bastard!

M.: And here's some gas money.

J.: And not a moment too soon! Oh, and did I tell you how many business cards I passed around at Loaves and Fishes? That's the best crowd to network with!

M.: (Thinking to myself: The homeless are far-and-away the least-likely group in society to need a plumber's services.) But they don't have much money.

J.: But there are ways. Do you know how Craigslist works? The folks who go to Loaves and Fishes really recommend it.

M.: Only slightly....

For Sacramento's homeless and near-homeless population, it's a time of locusts and pestilence and hardship and networking on the Internet.