Joe The Plumber Agonistes

Joe is a Plumber, but I enlisted him (and co-worker) to construct my new front porch back in September (yes, the recession has ensnared Joe The Plumber too, and work is light for him these days).

Nevertheless, the porch has been retaining rainwater at the western end (Joe's feud with his co-worker just before starting work on the western end may have undermined porch-repair planning), so several weeks ago he made an effort to correct it. (The effort was not sufficient for success.)

So, today, with vast flooding rains right around the corner, I stayed home from work and we made a third, and last, and hopefully-successful effort to correct the porch's drainage deficiencies.

Work got off to a slow start (a little less yada-yada-yada would have helped, but whaddya gonna do? - I mean, it's Joe the Freakin' Plumber!), so, by nightfall, he was hurriedly rushing to finish the job. Joe the Plumber was under stress.

Joe had his black Labrador Retriever, Bella, beside him when he worked. Bella did not have a leash on. A lady was walking her two dogs past the house when Bella came bounding down the porch steps to greet the two dogs with a hearty canine hello. The lady over-reacted to the abrupt approach of Bella, and freaked....

A minute later, Joe called me from the back yard, where I was busy raking leaves. "She raised her hand to hit my dog! I told her 'don't hit my dog!' Then we started yelling at each other. She threatened to call the police. I gave her my cell phone and told her to go ahead and call the police: I have nothing to hide!"

I thought: "Uh, oh! Diplomacy is not Joe's strong suit." So I headed out front to see what was going on....

The irate lady on the sidewalk was holding Joe's cell phone. I identified myself as the property owner. The lady said "911 suggested I call Animal Control, and I'm on hold with them at the moment." Joe said: "MY dog did NOT threaten YOUR dogs!" The lady said: "The law REQUIRES you to have your dog on a leash!" I said, "everyone, please CALM DOWN!"

Joe said: "Lady, you're crazy; you need psychiatric help! You're going to be sorry!" The lady replied, "are you threatening me?" Joe repeated, "you're going to be sorry!" The lady repeated, "are you threatening me?"

I intervened, and said, "Joe, PLEASE, this doesn't help! Please! Both of you!" Then more calmly to the lady, I said, "it seems to me that there has been no harm here: the dogs didn't fight, and no one's been hurt."

Mollified that she had made her point regarding leash laws and that, true enough, there had been no harm to anyone (so far, anyway), the lady handed over Joe's phone and continued on with her walk.

Whew!

(If there ever was a romantic phase to this porch-repair project, it's definitely over now. Let it rain! I don't care anymore....)