Where Do Gays Come From?

E. was relating how her and her friends had visited Fisherman's Wharf on Thursday evening, and ate some crab sandwiches, and how they noticed something that other people have also commented on, that there seems to be a lot of gay people in San Francisco:

E.: Mmmmaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrccccccc! God never created Adam and Adam, and Eve and Eve!
M.: He didn't? Then where do all the gay people come from?
E.: God created all things and all people, but he didn't make them do what they do. Do you understand what I am talking about? For example, he made all the spiders and all the snakes, and all the bugs, and even all the ants, which I hate so very much! God made them all! He made all the evil and all the good.
M.: He did?
E.: And then God separated the darkness and the light, and separated the years from each other, and the months, and the day from the night.
M.: He did that after he made all the spiders and the snakes? I thought it was the other way around. That's what Genesis says, anyway. ..... So, where do all the gay people come from?
E.: They decided on it themselves.
M.: They did? When did they do that? Did they all get together one day in a park in San Francisco and said "Now we will be gay"? And how come I never heard about it? Nobody said a thing! You would something like that would be pretty important!

....

I always seem to be the last one to hear about these things. You would think that a lot of people deciding to become gay would be worth a planning document, at the very least, or a feature on the evening news. But I heard nothing; nada; zip. You know it had to be one of those inside things, kind of like a flashmob, where everyone has to check a special Web Site first - a Web Site like TMZ or Gawker, the kind that I check on maybe once a month, at most.

So, where do all the gay people come from? To answer this kind of philosophical question, we would have to cross-examine God himself. Did he make all the gay people? Did he realize that they would get together early one sunny summer morning in Golden Gate Park and decide to become gay? Or is it all plausible deniability with the Great One? Conventional advice, like "follow the money" just won't do. We need to serve a subpoena at the pearly gates and directly ask "What did God know, and when did he know it?"