Hypoadrenia

It's funny how gonzo on-line medical literature can sound so authoritative at first, but slowly undermines its entire authority by just talking too much:

Hypoadrenia more commonly manifests itself within a broad spectrum of less serious, yet often debilitating, disorders that are only too familiar to many people. This spectrum has been known by many names throughout the past century, such as non-Addison’s hypoadrenia, sub clinical hypoadrenia, neuroasthenia, adrenal apathy and adrenal fatigue.

OK, sounds like a good start.

Non-Adison’s hypoadrenia (adrenal fatigue) is not usually severe enough to be featured on TV or to be considered a medical emergency. In fact, modern medicine does not recognize it as a distinct syndrome.

Really? Not even on TV? Then maybe, just maybe, it doesn't exist?

...In the more serious cases of adrenal fatigue, the activity of the adrenal glands is so diminished that the person may have difficulty getting out of bed for more than a few hours per day. With each increment of reduction in adrenal function, every organ and system in your body is more profoundly affected. Changes occur in your carbohydrate, protein and fat metabolism, fluid and electrolyte balance, heart and cardiovascular system, and even sex drive.

No! Not the sex drive!

...Although fatigue is a universal symptom of low adrenal function, it is such a common complaint and occurs in so may other conditions, that today’s medical doctors rarely consider pursuing an adrenal-related diagnosis when someone complaints of fatigue. In fact, fifty years ago, physicians were far more likely than their modern counterparts to correctly diagnose this ailment.

Maybe this is progress?

...Adrenal fatigue is a collection of signs and symptoms, known as a “syndrome.” It is not a readily identifiable entity like measles or a growth on the end of your finger. People with adrenal fatigue often look and act relatively normal. They may not have any obvious signs of physical illness, yet they are not well and live with a general sense of unwellness or “gray” feelings. They often use coffee, colas and other stimulants to get going in the morning and to prop themselves up during the day.

Maybe supernatural rodents live in their abdomens (like the large, eerie possum that Sparky menaced last night on our walk). Feed your rodent: have that cup of java! Swill that Nutrasweet!

They have intervals of confusion, increased difficulties in concentrating and less acute memory recall. They often have less tolerance than they normally would and are more easily frustrated. When the adrenals are not secreting the proper amount of hormones, insomnia is also one of the likely outcomes.

Wow! Maybe they do theater too!

As their condition worsens, it lays the foundation for other seemingly unrelated conditions such as frequent respiratory infections, allergies, rhinitis, asthma, frequent colds and a number of other health problems such as fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, hypoglycemia, adult onset diabetes, auto-immune disorders and alcoholism.

Diabetes? Alcoholism?

These people may appear to friends and family to be lazy and unmotivated, or to have lost their ambition, when in reality quite the opposite is true; they are forced to drive themselves much harder than people with healthy adrenal function merely to accomplish life’s everyday tasks.

R - I - G - H - T!

Will my doctor treat adrenal fatigue?

Hell, your doctor is too busy coping with his own forgetfulness and alcoholism to bother treating you! Having misplaced his keys, your doctor can't even leave his house!

Generally, people’s understanding of hypoadrenia is vague. You might have heard someone sigh and say something like, “My adrenals are shot.”

I've never heard anyone say anything like that in my entire life!

These people do, indeed, have some inkling of why they are suffering from fatigue, but if pressed for an explanation, they know very few actual details about how adrenal function is directly related to their feelings of being “dragged out.”

Most people I know can't explain how a traffic light functions, much less their adrenal glands.

After reading this, I still have no idea if "hypoadrenia" actually exists! Did I learn anything at all? Wait: "intervals of confusion, increased difficulties in concentrating and less acute memory recall...less tolerance than they normally would." Damn, those are symptoms! I'm sick! REAL sick! Too bad about the sex drive, but break out the wine!